Scars Too Deep
by UndeniablyPeculiar
Summary: AU: After an abusive relationship leaves Clary an anxious, depressed mess, her only solace lies in her art. She planned to avoid guys at all cost, forever. However she never expected to the hottest guy at Institute University to take interest in her.
1. Chapter 1

As the car rolls up to the building that I will be calling my home for the next year of my life, I can feel my stomach drop. New people, new places, I'll be surprised if I don't suffer from panic attacks every day in this social death trap.

"Clary, we are here!" My mom chirps excitedly.

"Yayyy…" I mutter sarcastically.

It's move in day and everywhere I look there are parents and students alike moving boxes of all sizes into one of four buildings that they call the Freshman Quad. The brick buildings are actually much nicer than I expected. The windows were like mirrors reflected the blue sky and big fluffy clouds. My fingers itched for my sketchbook.

"Come on honey, let's get you moved in…"

We bring up the first of the boxes to my room. After the incident last year and the anxiety that comes with starting college, my mother agreed to pay for a single room. It was small but it was mine. The big window opposite the door helped to illuminate the off white walls and make the room appear larger than it actually was.

"This is cute. What do you think?" My mom asked, placing the box next to the bed.

"It's okay, I guess"

The sadness in her eyes was evident. I didn't mean to hurt my mom by closing off like this but I just couldn't deal with letting anyone in just yet.

"Well once we give it the ol' Fray makeover it will be perfect!" It was evident that she was really trying to keep our last few hours together somewhat positive.

It didn't take very long for us to create a bedroom that any college student would be jealous of but that's what you get when both you and your mom are pretty talented artists. The walls were completely covered in tapestries, old Asian scrolls, and paintings. Christmas lights gracefully draped along the walls and beautiful sculptures adorned the desk. It was organized chaos. It was me.

Mom and I spent some time enjoying the atmosphere that we had created. When the sun went down, the Christmas lights turned on and the intimacy of the space heightened. We were alike in so many ways. From our fiery red hair that matched our personalities to the way we liked our eggs, pancakes, and meats.

"Hey Clary?" She broke me out of my trance.

"Yeah?"

"I know this is hard, but please….just try…..try to enjoy college."

I softened at the sincerity in her voice, "I will."

Mom turned her head towards the window.

"Well it looks like I should be heading out, it's getting dark" She said standing up and smoothing out her jeans.

As I walked her down to her car, she reminded me to brush my teeth every night and to never go to bed without makeup on. She was such a mom. But I was grateful for her love and support.

We hugged one last time before she got back into the black Honda mini van and drove away.

I hugged myself against the cooling evening air and slowly walked back inside. I could feel the anxiety in the pit of my stomach beginning to grow at the idea of being left on my own. Even if it was voluntary.

The anxiety was growing more than expected. I picked up my pace almost completely running down a tall very handsome guy that two girls where practically drooling over in their doorway.

"Sorry" I mumbled as I walked away, keeping my head down, arms still hugging my middle even though the dorm was well heated. Before making my getaway I caught a glimpse of gold eyes that seemed to pierce my sould.

"Can you believe that girl? Such a freak" I heard the two bimbos call as I headed towards my room.

I prayed that I wouldn't fumble with my keys to much and for once my prayers were answered. As soon as I got through the door, I slammed it shut, locking both bolts and curled up on my bed to let the anxiety take me by waves until sleep finally drew me to its gentle embrace.

The next day proved to be better than the previous night. As an art major in one of the most competitive programs in the nation, my day was filled of with art of all kinds. I felt at ease and in my element. I didn't need friends or even family as long as I had my sketchbook and pencils.

It wasn't until my figure drawing class that things seemed to go downhill…

"Alright class," Mr. Garroway announced, "Welcome to advanced figure drawing. In this class you will be using a variety of mediums to create the figures displayed before you. In order to track your progress we will be working with the same three models each of varying fitness. One will be extremely fit, one is considered average and one is overweight. This will also allow you all to gain a better appreciation for the human body. Occasionally we will have new models but we will be primarily focusing on these three individuals."

I look around at my fellow classmates. There is about an even split between males and females each varying in ages.

"The models will be completely naked and you will be required to draw everything"

No matter the difference in ages, the entire class seemed to groan at the idea of drawing a fat man's junk.

We spent the next twenty minutes going over the syllabus. The class seemed to drag on, I didn't think we would ever get around to actually drawing. Maybe we actually weren't going to draw on the first day. That was a depressing thought.

As if reading my mind, Mr. Garroway turned to the class and asked everyone to take out their sketchbooks and a pencil.

"Since there isn't much time left in class, about half an hour, I will introduce you to the models and you will choose one to do a rough sketch of. I would like you to focus on one aspect of their body. I also have asked the models to be shirtless rather than going fully nude."

I sent up a silent prayer for that.

"Alright, guys you can come out now."

The first model to come through the door of the brightly lit classroom was a woman, she was of average stature and weight. I could understand why Garroway chose her since although she may not have been incredibly fit she had curves for days.

The second figure was as we all guessed, a very fat, older man. But he wasn't the beer belly kind of fat, he was the jiggly rolls kind of fat which is more common in art.

And lastly was the third model and the fittest of them all was a young man with a body as though it was carved from angels. I could understand why all the girls were staring at his rippling abs but all I could see were a familiar pair of gold eyes that were staring right back at me.

And I knew suddenly that this one was going to be trouble and I didn't eve know his name yet.


	2. Chapter 2

Once Mr. Garroway let us go I quickly cleaned up my art supplies and scampered from the room before those golden eyes could delve anymore into my soul.

It was actually ridiculous when I thought about it, just how uncomfortable those eyes made me. I couldn't even concentrate on my piece. Even though I selected to sketch the curvaceous woman, I could feel his eyes on me the entire time. I don't understand what's wrong with me. Maybe it was my anxiety. But I never get anxiety when I'm working in the art world.

That what it was to me. A world. A place where I could escape. A place I could be safe. And ever since the events of last year, the art world has become my new home.

After speed walking for what seems like forever, I finally arrive to my dorm building. I don't have to worry about classes for the rest of the day, thankfully, and it was time for a much needed nap.

But as I approached my door I realized that napping is going to have to wait because stuck to my door was a post it:

 _Clary,_

 _How have you been here all of 24 hours and still have not informed your best friend?_

 _Text me_

 _May the force be with you,_

 _Simon_

I chuckle at the closing of the note. Simon has always been the biggest geek and my best friend. We have been friends for my entire life so having him leave me last year really sucked and every day I cursed our one-year age difference. But we were both thrilled when I committed to Institute University and that we got to go through yet another period of our lives together.

I opened the door and immediately texted Simon.

 _Got your post it. It's been a little crazy here. When can I see you?_

I wasn't surprised to have gotten a response almost immediately. Simon was attached to social media so he was almost always on his phone.

 _Meet me at Starbucks in fifteen minutes._

I shut my phone and head on over.

"Claarrryyyyyyy!" Simon's voice cut through the relaxing atmosphere of the café. Before I know it I am being pulled into a huge bear hug. I don't even try to stop the smile from blooming on my face.

"Simon! Its so good to see you, I've missed you" I say, returning the hug. Simon stayed at the school over the summer working on a research project for the biology department. I didn't get to see him at all. It was a pretty boring summer but I used the time to focus on myself and work with my anxiety.

"One coffee with two pumps vanilla creamer, just how you like it." I say referring to the drink placed in front of the chair next to me.

We were sitting at a long table placed in front of the windows that offered many stools for people to sit along.

"I knew I kept you around for a reason" Simon joked. Although his mannerisms changed completely in the next moments "So how are you doing…. with…ya know?"

I should have known this was coming. Simon knew about everything as it happened. Jonathan was an awful person, but I loved him, or at least I thought I loved him. I drew away from all my friends and family because he didn't want me spending time with anyone other than him. If he found out that I had gone out he would claim that I was cheating on him even after I told him he was the only one for me. Jonathan had always been a little rough with me but things start to get worse both verbally and physically. Whenever he his me he would always apologize and tell me he loved me and that he would never do it again. And stupid me would just kept going back. Simon tried to be there but I just kept pushing him away. I was blinded by love.

Luckily after everything had blown over, Simon accepted me back with open arms. I truly don't know where I'd be without him.

"I'm fine."

"Clary…."

"What?! I'm really okay. I've put the past behind me and I'm focused on the future."

"Well I'm really glad to hear that" Simon smiled softly, "So speaking of your future, how has college been treating you?"

"Oh well, haha, it's certainly been interesting." I responded with a certain pair of gold eyes in mind.

"How so?"

"Everything has basically been pretty normal, except really for my figure drawing class" I blush slightly remembering the body attached to the beautiful gold eyes.

"What happened? Too much junk in that trunk?" Simon was obviously intrigued noticing my blush.

"No….but there was…. a boy…" I say, my voice barely above a whisper. But Simon still heard.

"A boy…?" The hesitation was clear in his voice.

"Its not what you think! I mean sure he was attractive but its not that I'm interested in him. Obviously Im not interested in him. It was just his eyes. His gold eyes. I could feel him staring at me the whole time. He's one of the models and-" Simon cut off my rambling.

"Did you say gold eyes?"

"Uh-huh"

"Does he have blonde hair?"

"Yes…"

"And is he ridiculously fit and leave a trail of drooling girls behind him?"

"H-how do you know that?

"Oh no. That's Jace Waylane. You need to stay away from him" Simon warned?

"What? Why?"

"He's got a reputation. He uses girls and dumps them. I can't even imagine how many notches he has in his belt. He's known for it all around campus."

"You don't even know him, Simon." I don't know why I was defending a guy I didn't know, especially one who is known for using girls.

"Clary-" Simon reached out to touch my hand, but I moved it before he could.

"Don't worry Simon, I'm not looking to get into a relationship. Especially not with a guy like that."

The relief was evident on his face.

"I really should be heading back now though. It was really good seeing you. We should hang out soon, like the old days, when I don't have a bunch of work to do." I chuckled at the thought of having free time now that I'm in college.

"Alright Clary. It was really good seeing you again. I really missed you."

"I missed you too"

And with one last hug, I left Simon in Starbucks and headed back towards the dorm.

It was good to see that Simon hadn't changed at all from the last time I had seen him. He was still the goofy little kid that I loved like a brother. He still wore his band shirts and hipster glasses and continued to keep his hair a shaggy mess just the way I liked it. I really hope he still plays guitar.

So far college wasn't too bad. It wasn't as great as everyone told me it would be but it was definitely nice to get away and not have to worry about looking over my shoulder all the time.

Though there was one part of college that I really wasn't looking forward to that I was now forced to confront since my stomach was rumbling quite painfully after skipping both breakfast and lunch. The dining hall was like a jungle of people and food and more people. But unless I wanted to starve to death I would have to get used to it.

I entered the hall and swiped my card. I didn't feel like dealing with all the lines for the hot food so I made a beeline for the cereals. A sigh of relief escaped my lips when I noticed they had my favorite bran flakes.

I found a small table in the back corner of the dining hall and took a seat. Ever since I was little people watching was something my mother and I would do together. We would go to the park with a bag of breadcrumbs and feed the birds while trying to guess facts about people's lives.

I was pulled from my thoughts when someone pulled out the chair across from me and took a seat. I was suddenly staring into curious gold eyes. I was surprised that he reeked of arrogance and I started to understand what Simon was saying earlier. Plus I was not appreciating all the attention he was drawing towards me.

"Can I help you?" I didn't bother to hold back my attitude.

"Woah there Red. No need to bite my head off." I was surprised by how perfect his voice was, not too deep, not too high.

"What did you just call me?" I cant believe I was just thinking about how perfect his voice was.

"Red. I could spot you from a mile away with a sun like that on your head. And youre lucky I did spot you" He said while nodding to my hair. I should have worn a hat.

"And why is that?"

"Because we are a perfect match." He leaned in and I had to keep myself from catching my breath. "You're as bright as the sun and I'm as hot as the sun if you know what I mean"

I couldn't help but snicker at the awful pickup line.

"Is that the best you got?"

His expression was worth every sassy word. It's obvious that he isn't rejected all too often.

I took a spoonful of my bran flakes.

"So you're a fan of the grandma cereal I see." His eyes showed just how amused he actually was with this fact.

"Yeah, got a problem with that?"

"No, none at all, Red." He said as though I had peaked his interest.

"Will you quit calling me that."

"Only if you tell me your name."

I bit my lip debating if I really wanted to divulge that information. But he could probably just get it from the figure drawing teacher.

"It's Clary." I said continuing to bite my lip.

"Well Clary, you'll find out about me soon enough, if you don't already know who I am. I look forward to making you squirm in figure drawing again."

I gaped at him. He was doing it on purpose?

"Till tomorrow, Red" Then he got up and sauntered from the table before I was able to correct him on my name.

I watched as heads turned while he passed and then snapped back in my direction.

This was going to be one hell of a semester.

 **Hey Guys! So I'm super new to this and would appreciate any comments that you have. This is my first attempt at a fanfic and I'm hoping to have fun with this. I don't know how consistent I'll be able to post once school starts up again but I'll do my best. Thanks so much!**

 **3 33333**


	3. Chapter 3

Clary, calm down. You had one conversation. Over cereal. _Cereal_. Freaking Cereal.

I couldn't understand why my mind kept going back to the ridiculous conversation with the golden haired dreamboat. It was the smallest of exchanges that truly meant nothing. I needed to get that through my head. Plus I really didn't need any more guys in my life right now other than Simon.

I headed quickly down the hall, shower caddy in hand, hoping that maybe a quick shower would help to remove the annoying gold eyes that seem to be burned into my brain. I'm lost in thought as I open the bathroom door and run right in to a wet slippery brick wall that knocks me off balance. If it wasn't for the pair of strong arms to hold my up I most certainly would have been yelling timber.

"Sorry about that" I apologize quickly before the gravity of the situation sets in.

Standing before me in all his glory is a very naked and very wet Jace Wayland. I silently curse the blush that immediately spreads on my cheeks. It's like life enjoys teasing me.

"Don't worry about it. You're not the first woman I've made swoon." The amusement is alight in his eyes.

"Swoon? You practically ran me over. And what the hell are you doing in the girls bathroom?" I spit.

I suddenly regret asking that question because a beautiful curvy brunette shows up behind him in a towel that is so short that I don't even dare to look. Her claws instantly go to shoulder in a possessive "don't touch, he's mine" sort of way. I can't help but roll my eyes in disgust.

"Jacey," Jace visibly stiffens, and I can only snort at the ridiculous pet name, "lets go back to the room, you promised me some morning cardio."

I almost puke on the spot.

Jace puts up no resistance at the thought of getting laid. As they pass, the voluptuous brunette glares at me with a passion of a thousand fiery suns. What did she think I was gonna do? Sweep him off his feet and make sweet love in the shower? Which is obviously what they did.

I blush at my train of thought.

I rush into the shower, careful to turn the water as hot as possible without it being scalding. Maybe I can burn away the gross feelings from that interaction and maybe, just maybe today will be a better day.

General education classes are stupid. I don't understand why in the world I have to learn about atoms and molecules when my goal in life is to be a graphic novelist (maybe a painter on the side) I grumble as I head towards my chemistry lab. On top of everything the class is three hours long! What could possibly be so important that it has to take up three hours of my day?

Striding into the lab room, I take a seat at the lab table in the back corner of the room. I immediately take out my notebook and begin a fresh page of doodles, which will be my actual focus throughout this godforsaken class.

The rest of the class slowly trickles in taking randomly taking seats. Before long, the stool next to me is dragged out from under the table and occupied by a very beautiful girl with raven black hair.

"Wow you're really good, art major?" I wasn't really expecting her to start up a conversation but I might as well try to make friends.

"Yea actually, what about you?"

"Biology, I want to be an emergency medical physician so that way I can patch up all the gruesome injuries." I'm only slightly disgusted at the idea of someone enjoying such a job.

"Sounds….interesting…." I trial off.

"My names Isabel. But everyone calls me Izzy" Her smile was just as perfect as the rest of her, displaying two rows of perfectly white teeth.

"Clary"

Before any more words could be exchanged, the teacher's assistant walked in announcing the beginning of class. Izzy surprisingly paid close attention to everything the TA said. She looked like one of those ditzy girls that was beautiful but didn't know a pear from a pineapple. But apparently she was really smart. Smart and beautiful. She was probably incredibly talented too. But she was nice so even when you wanted to, you couldn't hate her.

After two long grueling hours, the TA finally announced that he would be letting us go early. I thanked my lucky stars.

While "paying attention" during class I had managed to create a very realistic looking dragon, paying extra attention to the shading on the scales and anger in it's eyes. I was proud of it.

Quickly shutting my books and packing up, I was about to head out when Izzy caught my arm.

"Hey, I was actually hoping that maybe I could get your number and we could hang out some time."

"Oh yea, definitely." My smile was genuine. Its been a while since someone was hoping to be my friend rather than the other way around.

After a quick exchange of numbers, I headed out. Almost as soon as I exited the building, my phone began to vibrate in my back pocket. I knew who it was even before looking at the screen. My mother promised to call every other day, she's a big of a worry wort.

"Hey mom"

"Hey sweetheart, how are your first day of classes?"

"So far so good. We are only focusing of the syllabi right now but I'm excited to get into drawing and painting" It was the truth, I was excited, but I had to overdue it so I knew she wouldn't worry.

"That's really great to hear. Are you making friends?"

"Well of course I have Simon so I really don't need anyone else. But I did meet a girl today in class."

"Alright well, don't forget your counseling appointment."

"I know mom, I wont." I sag at the idea of having to tell the story again to another stranger. They don't know me and they have no idea what I have been through. Talking to them is like talking to a brick wall. But it gives my mom some peace so I continue to go.

"Love you, honey. Let me know if you need anything"

"Love you too, mom"

And with that the call ended.

Ive always been so thankful to have my mother. Being an artist isn't always easy when it comes to paying the bills so she took up a second job as a waitress in town. She's always worked so hard to supply me with everything that I needed and she knew that I appreciated it every day.

However I didn't understood just how important she was until last year. ..

 _I had been in a relationship with Jonathan for two years. We had met at a local coffee shop during poetry night. He had seen me perform a piece for extra credit and we bonded over how although we both loved poetry, we couldn't write it worth a damn. He was incredibly charming in the beginning. He was always a little rough when showing affection but I brushed it off. He was my first boyfriend and I didn't want to ruin things. Soon, however, things started taking a turn for the worse._

 _It started out with tons of calls and text messages when I was out with friends, questioning where I was and who I was with. When it got to be too much I confronted him and things got heated. He slapped me across the face when I told him that he couldn't control me._

 _Of course he begged and pleaded for my forgiveness, and of course I gave it to him. We had been together for about seven months when this happened and I wasn't about to let it all go down the drain after provoking him. But things never changed. The calls kept coming to the point that I was embarrassed to even go out with friends._

 _One night, I had to work on an English assignment with my partner who happened to be of the opposite sex. I have no idea how, but Jonathan found out, and one drunken night he smacked me around pretty good. I kept telling everyone that I have fallen down the stairs, but of course no one actually believed me. There was nothing anyone could do for me because I wouldn't accept it. I kept remember those first few months when we spent an amazing even laughing and playing games at the local carnival, and the small careful kisses he spatter my face with when he thought I was asleep. There was no way that that guy was gone, and I was determined to find him again._

 _So I endured the beatings for months and I continued to lie to everyone, including my mother. I could see I was hurting her but I knew I needed to save Jonathan from himself. I tried. I tried so hard._

The memories started to bring tears to my eyes. I took the long way back to the dorms so I could relish the open freshness of the air, hoping that it would ease the hurt the thoughts provoked.

 _It was a Wednesday evening and my mother was working the late shift. I was hope alone, working on schoolwork, when I got a text message from Jonathan claiming that he needed me, that something awful had happened. Of course I immediately invited him over. The thought of being alone with him made me nervous but I just kept telling myself that he needed me and I was being absurd. Next thing I know there is a knock on the door. I opened it to find a very drunk Jonathan who looked pretty pathetic. I told him to come inside and I turned to shut the door. Right as I had flipped the lock and turned beck to face him, his mouth was on me. All over me. I tried to get him off me but he wouldn't refute. He kept saying that he_ needed _me. I didn't realize till his voice dropped a few octaves just how he_ needed _me. But I didn't want it. I kept pushing him away and he just kept on coming. He would whisper "Stop fighting, baby. You know you want it." But never did my mantra of "no" stop. He started to get angry that I wouldn't give him what he wanted. That's when the first punch came, straight to my cheek. I was knocked to the ground and next things I know he's on top of me. Ripping my shirt open and touching me places I don't wish to be touched._

The tears are streaming now and I head to a secluded place along the river that runs next to the school. I let the memories roar, knowing that I might as well since I'm about to retell the story to the school shrink soon anyways.

 _The fists just kept coming. One to my nose, one to my temple, one to my ribs. I cried out in pain. Hoping that someone would stop him, but it was no use. My mom wasn't to be home for another hour. I stopped fighting. Jonathan was much bigger than me and very physically fit, there was no way that I could overpower him. So as I lay there crying, Jonathan had his way with me. All the while calling me any nasty names that he could think of in his drunken haze. When he was finally done he laid next to me carefully stroking my cheek while constantly expressing his affection._

 _He took me one more time before leaving me on the floor covered in blood and semen. Not too much longer later, my mother arrived home and found me that way. She immediately called the cops and tried her best to soothe me while we waited. But I was numb. So incredibly numb. And so I have been since. But I've gotten much better at hiding it._

 _I smile, I laugh, I cry, but none of it ever reaches my eyes._

I sit next to the river till the sun dips below the horizon. My eyes tend to get puffy when I cry so I made sure to keep my head down and my hood up while I walked back to the dorm.

There is only one emotion that I still experience daily, and that is fear. Jonathan was never convicted. His father was a lieutenant at the sheriffs department and according to the cops the case would be a "he said she said" case and there was not enough evidence against him. But I could see the pity in their eyes. And I knew that this was the work of Jonathan's father.

Everyday I must watch my back. Everyday I walk with fast footsteps. And everyday I fear that one day, Jonathan will find me and that he will kill me.

 **WHEW! That was heavy to write. I apologize if the story seems a little slow right now. Writing a story is definitely harder than I thought it would be. But It's a fun new experience! I had no idea that you could see how many people view your story and where they are from. That's insane! And what's more insane is how there are people from all areas of the globe on here and that makes me so happy that we have all read the beautiful books that are the Mortal Instruments and all love the beautiful people that are Clary and Jace. Anyways! I hope I do them justice as the story continues. Don't forget to leave a comment! Id love to hear from yall!**

 **Till next time~**


	4. Chapter 4

"Hey Clary! Wait up"

To my surprise Izzy came bounding up to me, her hair flowing perfectly behind her making more than one head turn.

"Hey Izzy, what's up?"

"I was just heading to my biology class when I saw you. I was gonna text you later today but I figured Id just ask you now."

"Ask me what?"

"Well my older brother Alec and I are going bowling tonight with a few friends and I wanted to know if you wanted to join?" She smiled as though there was no way that I was going to say no.

"Oh man, I don't know…" I trail off

"Come onnnn, it will be a bunch of fun!" She chirped excitedly, "If it will make you feel better you can even bring someone, as long as they are not totally boring."

I really didn't want to go out. I'm more of a stay in and read kind of person and the idea of social interactions with people I don't know is not an appealing one. As I contemplated how to let Izzy down easy my mother's words popped into my head. " _At least try and enjoy college."_ I told her I would, and I wasn't going to back out now.

"Alright" I nod, "let's do it"

"Oh yaaayyyyy," She squealed, "this is going to be so much fun!"

In this moment she was actually almost…cute. Isabelle seemed like the kind of girl who could pull of sexy and badass without a blink of an eye, but here se was, excited over bowling. I could come to really like this girl.

"So we will pick you and…..a friend?" I nod thinking that there was no way I was going at the this alone. Plus Simon loved bowling. Well more like he loved the small arcades that were generally in bowling alleys. "Okay, we will pick you guys up at 6:30 outside your building. Cant wait! See you later"

"See ya!" And with that, Isabelle was gone.

"You're coming bowling, no ifs, ands or buts."

"Teehee, you just said butts."

I roll my eyes in Simon's general direction; he could really be a child sometimes.

"I'm being serious! You know I get anxious around people."

"Fine. I'll come. But if they end up being a bunch of freaks then-"

"You'll fit right in" I cut in sarcastically.

"Not exactly what I was going to say." Simon's pout making him look like a little boy who just had his favorite toy car taken away.

"Thank youuuuu" I lean in and place a small kiss on his cheek. As much as I am aware that he feels something more for me, he knows that my displays of affection are strictly platonic. It doesn't keep him from blushing like a schoolgirl though.

"So they are going to be here in two hours so once I finish this," referring to the art history I was assigned earlier today, "I'm going to shower and make myself more presentable and less like an artist who has been cooped up all day."

Simon chuckles at this because that is exactly who I am.

Two hours later, Simon and I wait outside my building for the ride to arrive. Simon is dressed in his usual band t-shirt and flannel with faded jeans and personally decorated Vans. He looks good, really good.

It's not as though I've never found Simon attractive. I have two eyes and can see for myself the man that he grew into after hitting puberty. But I've been friends with him for so long that he is practically my brother, even with the slight gap in our friendship last year. I just could fathom the idea of dating someone who is like a brother to me.

A sleek black Jeep Grand Cherokee slides up to where Simon and I are standing. I can see through the window that Izzy is driving but the rest of the party remains to be seen. I open the front door and hop in while Simon shimmies into the back.

"Hey, where are your brother and friends?"

"Oh Alec was having trouble finding his bowling shoes, he's really into it, and said that they would meet us at the alley."

"Sounds good, so Izzy, this is my long time friends Simon and Simon, this is Izzy, I met her in my chemistry lab."

Izzy looks in the rearview mirror and regards Simon curiously, I can feel him squirm under her gaze.

"Nice to meet you, Simon" She says in a voice a little lower than normal.

"Uh- Ni-Nice to meet you too." Izzy chuckles, she's either doing it on purpose or she's used to men having such a reaction. I mean look at her. She's only wearing a simple purple V-neck shirt, distressed jeans, and black converse. Yet the way the clothes hug her curves and the attitude she rocks tells outsiders that she's really cool and she's got a rocking bod.

I suddenly feel uncomfortable. Looking down at myself I'm wearing black leggings that cut at the ankle, denim button up shirt that really contrasts my hair, and white converse. Well….at least we have the same taste in shoes.

The ride to the alleys was filled with a lot of awkward small talk but luckily the lanes weren't too far away.

After fifteen minutes, we finally arrived, got our shoe rentals, and headed towards the lane that the guys were at. Izzy informed us that although Alec was usually a very careful driver, the idea of going bowling tended to cause him to step on the accelerator a little harder and so they had arrived before us.

As we got closer I could immediately tell which was Izzy's brother. He was tall and a little lanky but still fit, with black hair and piercing black eyes. He was wearing a plain black t-shirt with a black leather necklace that sported a silver rune pendant and casual jeans. Somehow he looked exactly how I expected him too.

What I had not expected was the golden haired boy that was behind him sorting through the bowling balls looking for the perfect one.

"Alec" She called gaining the attention of both boys until a pair of gold eyes slid off of her and on to me, "this is Clary and her friend Simon. And guys this is my brother Alec and his best friend Jace."

Without even having to look I could see Simon's mouth gaping open. Neither one of us expected the notorious Jace Wayland to be gracing our presence, let alone playing _with_ us.

"Red, flaming as always." And he was right. Just the amusement in his eyes was enough to irritate me.

"I thought we agreed that you weren't going to call me that anymore." I mention as I cock a hip.

"Well I decided that I like it and so it stays." I cant help but roll my eyes in response.

"So wait, you guys know each other?" Izzy interjects obviously very confused.

"If you consider him teasing me about my choice of cereal and running me over in my dorm "knowing" each other then yes." Jace's eye light up with the recent memory.

"Uh huh…Well lets get bowling before this gets any stranger."

Jace and Alec play in one lane going hardcore, while Izzy, Simon and I play in the one next to them. It didn't take long to understand what Izzy meant by Alec really enjoying the sport. The way he stands, concentrating, before striding towards the line and releasing the ball at the perfect moment with the perfect spin makes it obvious that he has spent some time performing the art. Jace is not as good as Alec but he does a pretty good job keeping up.

As the night progressed, I found myself having quite a bit of fun. Izzy was pretty good and Simon was downright awful but it was hilarious to watch him try.

We had been at it for about an hour so far and had each finished two games when we decided to take a break before playing one more round. The entire night Jace had not addressed or made eye contact with me once. I could only feel his eyes on me when it was my turn, which sucked, because, well, I sucked at bowling as well. I don't know why it was getting on my nerves.

"I'm going to head to the arcade if anyone cares to join." Simon announced before heading towards the games section.

"I'm coming too" I say, running a little to catch up. "You enjoying yourself?"

"Yeah, actually. As long as I don't focus on how much a douche Jace is then everything is going pretty great actually." I'm glad that Simon is enjoying myself and I try to ignore the sudden urge to defend Jace and his douchebaginess.

"I'm going to go play the race cars, wanna come? Or are you going to try the crane again?" He says jerking his head in the direction of the crane game. AKA the game I have been trying my entire life to win and have failed each and every time.

"I think I'm gonna have to go with the crane on this one. I will beat it one of these days."

"Ha. Good luck with that." And so we part ways.

I'm only at the crane for maybe two minutes before I feel a familiar presence behind me. Jace's appearance causes me to lose focus and hit the button too quickly, ultimately leaving me with no prize.

"Look what you did! You distracted me." My face falling a little bit more than I expected it too. I have seen so many people win this stupid game, why can't i?

Jace smirks at my obvious disappointment.

"What if I told you that I could help you to win a prize?"

"I'd say you're full of shit."

"Would you be willing to bet on it?" I'm not liking the way the Jace's eyes flicker at the idea of a wager.

"Well what exactly are we talking here?" My mouth seeming to go on autopilot.

"If I can help you win a prize then you have to give me something in return." His eyes darken slightly and I can tell immediately what he is thinking.

"In your dreams." He's disgusting.

"Maybe, but no what I am referring to is not sexual."

I try not to blush at the idea of Jace's possible dreams.

"Well then what are you referring to ?"

"You're just going to have to wait and see if you win the bet."

I hesitate. Who knows what Jace could possibly want from me. But he said it wouldn't be sexual so it couldn't be all that bad.

"Alright, fine."

Suddenly, Jace is flush behind me, hands on top of mine on the trigger. We are standing as though he is teaching me to play golf, something I've only seen in romance movies. I internally groan.

But Jace seems to know what he's doing. Instead of going for the blue bear towards the front that I was aiming for, he attempts at the Dalmatian stuffed dog in the back left corner.

After what felt like hours of him lining it up perfectly, he hits the trigger.

A lifetime passes as we both watch in anticipation as the crane descends, stops and begins its ascension.

And with it….comes the toy.

My nerves are set on fire. How the hell did he do that and what could he possibly want?

I'm speechless when he finally turns to me.

"I have been trying to beat this game for years and never have I ever been able to. How?"

He shrugs, "Good luck, I guess."

I snort at the response. Oh I'm sure he's gotten lucky plenty of times if you know what I mean.

"Alright, what do you want?"

He takes a step towards me and hands out the stuffed dog, "Your time" is all he says.

"Huh?"

He pushes the toy into my hands.

"Come to a concert with me."

"Wait, what?"

"I said, come to a concert with me."

Well fuck. Me on a date with Jace, like that's ever going to happen. He is not my type. Not even close.

"No"

"But you bet on it and lost."

"The answer is still no."

"Come on, I swear they are good."

"I said. No." Putting a little more sass behind my voice.

"Why not?"

"Has it ever occurred to you that there just may be a member of the opposite sex that doesn't want to go on a date with you?" I snap.

"Woah, who said anything about a date?"

I blush. He's right, I jumped to conclusions.

"Well if it's not a date, then why do you want to go out with me?"

"You interest me, Clary." I blush again. "And I like to see you blush so often." I can feel my face get even redder. Curse you blood vessels.

"Alright fine. But I wont like it."

"Oh but you will. They are on Saturday night at 7. Ill pick you up at 6 and we can grab a slice of pizza or something before the show."

I nod as we head back to the lane. I can't help but be excited about this outing even if he is a bit of an ass.

"Hey, Jonathan!" I suddenly hear from a guy in front of us and instantly whip around to see whom he was referring to, eyes wide. But instead of blond locks, this Jonathan is a brunette that wears a kind smile. Definitely not my Jonathan.

I am suddenly reminded why I cant get too close to another guy. Without knowing it I take a large step away from Jace, hoping he won't notice. I just need to get through Saturday and then I can stay away from all guys.

How the hell am I going to do this?

 **Man I hate those crane games too. My sister is the bomb at them but me, not so much. Well I hope you guys like this next chapter. I had fun writing it. But its really late here and so I apologize for any spelling or grammar mistakes you may find. Honestly most of my writing will be at night so please forgive all future occurrences.**

 **Thanks again for everyone that has favorite, commented or followed this story. It really encourages me to keep writing and to keep finding new interesting ideas that I can throw into the story. Honestly if you guys have any suggestions let me know! Im open to anything and if I feel like it works with where my story is going, I may actually use it.**

 **Once again thank you guys so much! Please favorite, follow or comment!**

 **Yours truly~**


	5. Chapter 5

The rest of the week passed by in a blur. Friday morning had brought with it an email sent from the heavens saying that Figure Drawing was cancelled. I couldn't help the smile that bloomed on my face after realizing I wouldn't have to suffer under the gaze of gold eyes.

Other than the glorious email, the days leading up to Saturday were all very normal. I didn't get around to see Izzy or Simon all that much due to the work that my classes had assigned. These professors really started out strong. I was honestly surprised that I hadn't had any more anxiety issues since the first day but getting to submerge myself in the art world every day and having Simon and Izzy around to make me comfortable really helped a lot.

However, the anxiety I was having about this "not date" with Jace this evening was off the charts. I hate the way that Jace can make me feel when I'm around him, like I'm prey and he's the predator. It's almost carnal and made all my nerves stand on end in an exciting, nervewracking manner.

 _So tell me what you want, what you really really want,_

 _Ill tell you what I want, what I really really want,_

 _I wanna, I wanna, I really really really wanna zig-a-zig-ahhh_

It took me a minute to realize that the source of the Spice Girls was actually coming from my butt. More specifically my butt pocket.

I quickly scramble to answer the bullhorn, which is telling the world that part of my soul got stuck in the 90s, and look around the café to make sure no one noticed.

"Hey mom, what's up?"

"Hey honey…" Her voice quivering just slightly.

"Mom, is everything alright? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, I just wanted to hear your voice."

"Mom."

"We had….a scare…"

"What do you me-" Realization suddenly dawned on me "He doesn't know where I am does he? Tell me what happened" My breath coming quicker.

"It's alright, everything is fine, don't worry" My mother's attempt at soothing my now racing heart, failed miserably.

"Mom. Tell me what happened."

"Well…Hodge came by the other day and said that Jonathan was at the station asking questions."

"What kind of questions?" I ask, rising from the table, the walls were closing in and I needed to get outside as quickly as possible.

"He was asking about how to go about hiring a private detective," my throat catches, "But even though the guys at the station had their hands tied with your case, they complete side with us and hate that little bastard. They basically told him that they had no idea and to go fuck off."

"Oh god mom, what if he hires someone? He will most definitely find me. Oh god. Oh god"

I needed to keep control. Control. I needed it. I was losing it.

"Clary. Clary listen to me." I took a deep breath and focused on her voice, "Everything will be okay. After I heard about this I went to speak to Valentine."

"Mom! You what?!"

"Relax Clary, Valentine is a scumbag for doing what he did, but he know what his son did and agrees that we should make sure that Jonathan stays far away from you."

I didn't know how I felt about Valentine being on our side, but I guess I didn't have a choice.

"So, he doesn't know where I am?"

"No honey, he has no idea, and I plan on keeping it that way. I just really needed to hear your voice and hear that you were okay. How's college?"

I smile at such a mundane question, "It's really great so far, mom. I've made a few friends and classes are great."

Mom let out a breath that both of us didn't realize she was holding.

"That's really good to hear, sweetie."

"Thanks mom" My breathing finally returning to normal.

"Alright, I'm gonna go now, lots of painting to do. Take care love and remember, I'm just a phone call away if you need anything."

"Bye, love you."

"I love you too, Clary"

xxx

The mirror seemed to mock me. One second it was saying "Dayum Clary, you look good." But then two second later "Clary, why are you even trying?" The mirror was right. Why was I trying? It wasn't a date. I didn't even like Jace. Hes an egotistical asshole who thinks the world revolves around him.

Wait. Did I just agree with my mirror? Maybe the conversation with my mom earlier was getting to me more than I thought.

Well it didn't matter. Two minutes later, I'm rocking black ripped jeans, a blue and purple flannel, and black converse. It didn't look like I was trying at all. Perfect.

5:45pm

Fifteen minutes till pick up.

I head down stairs. Totally calm. Calm as a cucumber. Super duper calm.

Luckily, I'm not forced to wait. Jace's black Chevy is already waiting. Someone is obviously excited.

I open the door and slide in.

"Hey" I say avoiding eye contact. I need to keep this as platonic as possible.

That idea is thrown out the window though, when Jace leans in and kisses me on the cheek. It soft, warm, and incredibly unexpected.

I blush furiously.

"Wha-what did you do that for? I thought you said this wasn't going to be a date. If this was gonna be a date I wouldn't have come. Definitely not. What the hell?" I'm rambling.

"Its not a date. I just like to see you squirm." The fire in his eyes burns and I want nothing more than to squash it.

"That's not funny, Jace. That was a really asshole move."

"Uh huh. Don't pretend like you didn't enjoy it."

"You know, Jace, if you're going to be an asshole the whole time then I can just go right back inside."

"Relax, Clary, I won't" He says as he pulls away from the curb, "You know most girls would kill to be in your position"

"I'm sorry that I'm not most girls."

"I'm not." He whispers, but I still catch it and I can't help but smile a little.

xxx

Ten minutes and an awkward car ride later, we arrived at Salvatore's for dinner.

Jace selects a private booth in the back corner. After placing our orders, three buffalo chicken slices for him and one plain slice for me, we lapse into awkward silence. Again.

"So…how do you know the band?" I ask attempting to break the silence.

"Seriously Clary? Small talk?" I can tell he's mocking me.

"Well then, what would you like to talk about?" I say, starting to get a little frustrated.

"What your major?"

"Oh and that's not small talk?"

"No."

"And why not?"

"Because I'm actually interested to know."

I freeze. Jace wants to know about me? Jace doesn't want to know about anyone other than himself. I don't know whether to be suspicious or flattered.

"Art."

This seems to peek is interest.

He sits back and lounges in his "Jace-doesn't-give-a-shit" sort of style. I cant help but admire his simple maroon t-shirt that highlights his caramel kissed skin and long golden locks. Not to mention how it hangs loosely off his frame but tightens around his perfectly built upper body.

I mentally chastise myself for oogling. Yes I admit I was staring, but can you blame a girl?

"Art?"

"Yea, you got a problem with that?"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why art?"

I hesitate. How much do I want to let him in?

"I like it."

"You like it?"

"Do you have a hearing problem or something?"

He chuckles, "No but most people choose to pursue something for the rest of their life for batter reason other than they just 'like it'"

He's got a point there.

"Well fine. What about you? What are you doing?"

"I'm an athletic training major."

"Of course you would choose a job where you just help guys get buff all day." I say rolling my eyes.

"Actually, that's not what an athletic trainer does. Don't worry, it's a common misconception."

"Alright hot shot, what does an athletic trainer do?"

"Well, they work with athletes to help with their injuries, rehab, and return to play. They stay on the sidelines and administer emergency care to anyone on or off the field. So basically is the medicine side of sports." He explains so carefully that it's obvious he cares about his work. It's really a nice change of pace for Jace.

The waitress chooses this moment to bring our food over and both of us dig in.

"So," I mumble between bites, "Jace Wayland on the sidelines. Thought that I'd never see the day."

Jace smirks "Yea well I had my glory days on the field so it was time to do something significant with my life. And I had my fair share of injuries so I know how important it is to have someone helping you through the rehab process."

Jace could be considerate. Who knew?

"What kind of injuries did you have?"

"Well I tore my ACL during my sophomore year in soccer and then in junior year I got a concussion after some douche made a really dirty play. But either way, the athletic trainer at my school did wonders to help me get back to play and I owe a lot of my glory days to that man." The light in his eyes…it was almost…beautiful.

After thirty minutes of really great and _constant_ conversation, we headed to the concert.

Everything started off okay. Jace was really enjoying the music and the band was actually pretty good. But then more people kept coming in and the music kept getting louder.

I couldn't breathe.

I started to sweat.

My pulse was racing.

My body was shaking.

My vision was blotching.

"Hey Jace," I said as I grabbed his arm, "I don't feel so…."

And with that, for the second time in a week, Jace caught me as I was about to fall.

"You alright Clary?" Was all I heard as I lost consciousness.

But all I felt was a rush of warmth and relaxation as those strong arms wrapped around me and for once I felt like I was safe.

 **Hello yall! Let me know what you think! I love hearing from you guys so feel free to comment. And I cant wait to see how this story progresses. Hope you enjoy!**

 **Always**

 **~UndeniablyPeculiar**


	6. Chapter 6

Blue. Navy blue.

As I opened my eyes, all I could see was navy blue.

Slowly, my eyes adjusted to the artificial light that filled the room giving everything, from the walls (which was the navy I woke up to) to the desk and dresser, a yellowish tint.

Wait. Desk? Dresser? Blue walls?

I look down. Grey blanket?

Those are all things that belong in a…..Oh no.

I shot up with a gasp. The small rocking of the bed indicated that I had frightened the other individual that seemed to be watching over me.

"Where am I?" I questioned, frantically.

"Relax, you're in my room." I turn and looked directly into a pair of very concerned looking gold eyes. But his words did nothing to calm me down.

"Yo-your room? Oh no. We didn't? You didn't? Oh gosh. Oh no. Oh no," the hyperventilating began again. I needed to get control.

A warm hand slid onto my back causing all of the muscles beneath it to instantly relax.

"Clary, it's okay. Nothing happened." He soothed, although he was obviously amused at my presumption.

"So we didn't..?"

"No."

"Well then, what happened?"

"I've been trying to figure that out myself. You fainted at the concert. I carried you to a quieter area to assess your vital signs, which all seemed normal, so I brought you back to my apartment to sleep it off. I figured that since you ate earlier and your glucose and sodium levels all should have been at their proper points that the fainting spell must have been caused by stress or over heating."

I had no idea what glucose was but it sounded so nice coming from the mouth of the boy who had practically just saved me.

"Well…thank you." He knew he had hit the nail on the head but thankfully did not pry into the source of my stress.

"You're welcome"

"I'm really sorry about making you miss the concert." Maybe I was a freak.

"Don't worry about it. It's really no big deal. Helping people medically is what I do." He said with a wink.

I suddenly became very interested in my nail beds in an attempt to hide the embarrassment. Whether that embarrassment was from fainting or from the wink is a mystery.

When the silence got to a point that I deemed awkward enough, I decided to go back to small talk.

"Soooo, this is your room, huh?"

The small smile on his lips indicated he knew what I was doing but decided to play along.

"Yup, welcome to my abode."

It wasn't what I expected. There were no posters of half naked women or clothes thrown all over the floor. There were no old pizza boxes in the corner or game consoles. Not the typical boy sort of style. Instead the room was very neat, incredibly neat actually. It was very simple with a black, modern dresser and desk that were both adorned with pictures of friends and family as well as many books, statues and trinkets.

"Its different than I expected."

"Do you envision what my room looks like often?" His mockery was starting to grow on me, but it still managed to bring a blush to my cheeks.

"N-no," I stammered, "I was only expecting the normal guy stuff. Like a messy room with lots of pictures of women, you know."

"Well I guess I'm different than other guys." I certainly did hope so… I mean, friend wise. Of course.

"I'm sure that line flies with all the girls you bring here. Im probably gonna need to burn my clothes after laying on this bed. Who knows what this bed has seen…"

"I've actually never brought a girl here."

I gave him a look that very easily conveyed my doubt.

"Im being serious. Sure I've been with a lot of girls but never here. You're actually the first girl I've brought to my room."

I focus on the first part of the at piece of information to keep me from losing my shit a little.

"Everyone knows you're a player Jace, how did you get the reputation if you didn't bring them back here?"

He seemed to fall a little at the mention of his reputation. Odd. I thought he was proud of it.

"Usually I manage to convince them to bring me back to their place. Makes everything a lot easier." His face falls even more. He's obviously referring to having to leave them in the morning.

"Gotcha." I catch a glimpse of the time on the alarm clock on the bed stand, "It's getting late, I think I should probably be heading back now."

Jace easily agrees and we head for the car. The trip is short. Luckily he only lives a few blocks away. Soon we pull up to the front of the building.

I thank him for the ride and apologize once more for ruining the night. As I turn to go Jace catches my arm.

"Hey Clary.."

"Yeah?"

"I really enjoyed tonight, well at least the part of which you weren't unconscious." We both chuckle. His eyes show just how sincere he is, its, once again, unexpected.

"Me too." Which was no lie. It was really great getting to know him a little more at dinner.

Then before any more words can be exchanged, I duck my head and begin the walk back to my dorm room to relish the details of the night. No matter how embarrassing

* * *

Sunday was spent burying my head in a book and overthinking about the night before. Izzy had no idea about Saturday evening's events and I really wasn't in the mood with having to deal with the questions that would come with informing her.

I was concerned about the fainting spell though. In the past, I had dealt with panic attacks of all sorts, sometimes they were bad enough to bring me to vomit, but I've never fainted. It was something I should keep an eye on. Hopefully it was a one-time thing. I tried not to worry about it too much.

* * *

Monday came way too fast. And with Monday's came my figure drawing class. To say that my stomach was in a knot was an understatement. I didn't know what I was going to do if I had to face Jace. God forbid he was naked too…

I walked into class and took a seat at my easel. Mr. Garroway came striding in and began dictating the lesson for today.

"The body is a marvelous piece of work and all the functions that go on inside all shape what is happening on the outside. These processes are the reasons why we have people with so many different body types."

I couldn't help but think of a certain body. Clary. Get a grip. No boys.

"Today we will be working with the heavier of body types." I breathe and incredible sigh of relief, "The rolls, wrinkles and skin spots of each person tell the story of their life. Even if we don't directly the know their story, a man who turns to drinking to deal with stress will have a completely different body type than a man that turns to food. I want you guys to try to capture the story behind your model. Try to read the model and use what you have to create the story. Its alright if its not right as long as you are able to convey the story that you see."

And with that we were drawing.

And I was lost.

Lost in a world that welcomed me with open arms. This was a world that I was free. As I delicately curved each of the mans features, his story was displayed before my eyes. He was a man who had spent his life in a middle class household. He was average and that was always the case. Except when it came to his current size.

I applied more pressure on my pencil as the scars and blemishes began sharing their story. He wasn't always this way. One time he was a fit young boy with many ambitions and goals. But then came an awful year. One after another. He lost his parents in a fatal car crash. His sister turned to drugs to cope. His grades began to slip. He turned in on himself. His friends couldn't help him and soon left. And so he turned to food.

Food helped to keep him numb from the pain. So he ate. When he was hungry, he ate. When he was sad, he ate. When he was lonely, he ate.

The sketches became faster and more desperate as the years of hurt spilled from it's graphite. He tried and tried to take the weight off, but the food kept calling him. Even after he started talking to a counselor. Even after he met a girl. Even after he came to terms with his parents and his sister started to clean up her act. The food had him in its clutches.

His body began to form on the page, slowly taking shape, slowly telling his story.

Eventually he stopped resisting the food and started to take control. He learned to cook wonderful meals and bake delectable desserts. He thought that maybe he could turn food into a positive thing. He began cooking in shelters, spreading his newfound love to people in need. As he learned more and more about he culinary world he found ways to make the necessary diet changes that he needed without sacrificing the foods that he loved.

The tip of the pencil barely scratched the surface bringing about wispy strokes and creating depth.

His progress has only just started but by the looks of his smile lines it's evident that he is back to loving life and living to the fullest.

I took a step back to take a look at my creation. Before me was a very realistic rendition of the model in front of me. As I am adding the final touches, Mr. Garroway announces that class is over and to hand in our sketchbooks. I couldn't believe that time flew so fast.

I clean up my supplies and head out, happy and relaxed.

But it doesn't last for long. As soon as I'm outside the door a hand grabbed my wrist. I went to scream until I realized that it was only Jace.

"Jesus, Jace. You scared the shit out of me." I said as I caught my breath.

"You're too uptight, Clary." He responded, chuckling.

"What do you want?"

"You." He said with a very serious face.

A blush immediately spread across my cheeks. Come on cheeks. Shouldn't you be used to his lewd comments by now?

I fidgeted under his intense gaze.

"I'm just kidding," A huge grin spread across his face.

"You asshole."

I started walking toward my dorm. But Jace caught my wrist again.

"Wha-?"

"You're going the wrong way."

"But my dorm is that way." I pointed in the direction of the freshmen quad.

"You're not going back to the dorm."

"I'm not?"

"Nope."

"Then where am I going?"

"Follow me and you'll see."

"Jace…"

"Oh just loosen up. Trust me."

And I did. I don't know how this boy had gotten so close in the matter of a week but he felt so right. Just because I didn't want to date a guy didn't mean I couldn't be friends with him. Plus Jace wouldn't want to date me anyways; he has many more prettier and less chaotic choices. So with that thinking, I made up my mind.

"Okay."

 **Woohoo! Next chapter done! It been really great to see yall's encouragement and ideas. If I don't use your idea directly I may incorporate it in some way during the story. So keep em coming. Cause honestly yall, I have a general idea of how the story will go but a lot of things I just write on the fly so new ideas are always nice. If I dont use the idea at all it doesnt mean that it was bad! It just means that it didnt seem to fit with how I see the story progressing.**

 **Ive been liking how the story is progressing so far. I also went back and did some edits to grammar and spelling and such. So hopefully it is better. Let me know if you guys catch anything that needs to be fixed. Im definitely not an English major haha. Once again, Thank you guys for being so awesome.**

 **I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and hopefully Ill be updating soon! Love you all!**

 **Always and Forever**

 **~UndeniablyPeculiar**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey yall! So here is the next chapter, yay! I'm going to try and post every week but I have no idea how well that is going to work so bear with me. Before I get into the chapter, I would like to address a comment that I got from a guest about whether Clary would really actually want to be around Jace after the relationship that she just got out of. Okay so this is how I see it…Clary doesn't really want a relationship with Jace because of the previous one that she was in. But she knows that not all guys are as bad as Jonathan and although Jace does have a reputation, he hasn't really shown Clary his player side. The only time he has been an ass to her she knows it was in a joking matter and his light carefree attitude is hard to resist after being so controlled by Jonathan. I hope this clears some things up. ON TO THE STORY!**

As I followed behind Jace, climbing the last few stairs, I couldn't help but wonder where we were going. He had taken me to a building on campus but it was one that I had never seen before. The red bricks stacked high into the sky creating a tower at the top.

At the top of the stairs, there was a door. Jace stepped back and looked at me.

"Go ahead, open it."

Hesitantly I reached for the handle. With a slow turn and push, the door gave way easily.

The sight beyond the door was breathtaking. We had reached the top of the building and were high enough to see the entire town and beyond.

The sky was the most perfect shade of blue with big bright fluffy clouds floating about. The trees below were alit by the golden afternoon rays. All of the colors were so bright and beautiful. The town below buzzed, like little ants, darting to and fro. The air was sweet and fresh, and the wind lightly caressed my body making my hair sway.

I turned slowly turned, taking in the gorgeous panoramic view presented before me.

"Do you like it?" Jace whispered in my ear.

"It's beautiful."

"Yes, it is." I shuddered as I felt his gaze on me. I did my best to ignore it, but failed miserably.

I nodded once and focused on the scene before me allowing it to captivate me once again.

Side by side we stood in silence, watching the life below.

After a few minutes, I felt a brush against the back of my hand. I quickly pulled away and went to sit on the edge. I couldn't let any of that happen.

"How did you find this place?" I asked,

"I like to explore. I found this one-day while exploring the different parts of the building. It became my new favorite place. I like to think up here. It easier to see things clearly when you take a step back and look at it from a new angle." He responded, while coming to join me on the ledge.

"Well thank you… for showing me this place."

He didn't respond, he only looked at me. I shifted under his gaze. One second I'm incredibly comfortable and the next he makes me feel as though I'm under a magnifying glass.

His hand reached for mine but I once again pulled away sharply.

"I-I gotta get going. Lots of homework to do and such. Thanks again for showing me this place. Its really great." I said before bolting off the roof, down the stairs, and out the building. I could feel Jace's eyes on me from above as I ran from the entrance of the building.

When I reached a field that was a considerable distance away from the tower, I stopped to catch my breath. My heart was racing and hands were sweaty. I don't know why I was acting like this; I mean maybe he was just flicking off a bug or something…

Yeah right. Exactly. Jace didn't like me any more than a friend and I just over reacted.

And I only liked him as a friend anyways. He was like a brother.

But even as I thought these words, I knew they were lies.

Feeling defeated, I slowly made my way back to the dorm to drown my confusion in Reese's peanut butter cups.

* * *

The next day was very straightforward; actually the few weeks following were too. I would see Izzy and Simon every now and then. I spent most of my time focusing on my art or my studies and the few times that I saw Jace he was doing his own thing. I would almost say that he was ignoring me, but I guess that was for the better.

As I made my way back from the library after some late night studying, I found myself missing his presence. It was nice to have another person treat me like a human being and not a crystal ball that needed to be protected all the time. I had to remember to catch up with him and explain myself sometime.

The thudding of footsteps behind me caused me to quicken my pace. It was dark and freaky. Who knows what creeps are out at night.

My heart began to race harder as the footsteps quickened as well. I turned the corner and made my way to the dorm buildings that were only about two blocks away. I was almost home free.

But my focus on the dorms caused my awareness of the footsteps to waiver.

The next thing I know, there was a hand on my arm dragging me into a dark side alley while another clamped over my mouth.

"Miss me?"

My eyes shot open at the words hoping that it wasn't who I thought it was.

A head of gold swam into my vision and my heart pounded as my eyes adjusted to the darkness. And finally when they did I saw…

It was Jace.

My entire body fell. Like a hot potato. I slid out from under his hands to the ground. The world swam in hazy fog. I couldn't catch my breath. I couldn't control anything.

"Relax, Clary, it's just me"

But his words could not pierce the world that I had slipped into. I was pulled into the passed.

My body began to shake.

Jace's immediate shock at my reaction passed quickly and soon he was pulling me into his lap, stroking my hair and lulling me with words of affection.

Jonathan's black eyes were slowly replaced by Jace's caring golden ones.

The world slowly came back into focus.

My body slowly became still.

My breath slowly evened out.

And we stayed that way for a while. Long after the attack ceased. Long after I felt all right and safe again.

He just kept saying, "Clary, I'm so sorry, I had no idea."

He was right he had no idea. I couldn't blame him for causing this. Any other girl would have been freaked out but would have been perfectly fine after seeing that there was no harm.

I decided then to trust another person with my story. As the night passed away and the stars above slowly shifted, I divulged my deepest secret to a guy I barely knew. But it almost made it better that way. I knew he wasn't going to judge me, people had judged him all his life based off his reputation, and you didn't need to be his best friend to see that.

With every awful detail, he hugged me tighter. And I felt safe and understood. Almost as though he knew my pain. And I believed that he did. A sudden urge to draw him washed over me. I wanted to learn his story.

"And now I'm here" I said trailing off.

"I'm so sorry" And I could tell that he was, but there was no pity in his voice, only understanding.

We sat in silence for a little.

"I think I should probably get going…" I had no idea how late it was and I really needed to get to bed.

"Oh, yea." As we walked side by side down the street he thanked me. I'm sure that all of my behavior made more sense now. I felt as though a huge weight had been taken off my shoulders. I didn't need to hide anymore.

We parted ways with a short goodbye and made our ways to our respective dorms.

With dreams of gold, I slept better than ever.

 **YAyyyyyyayayayay! Next chapter done! (sorry its kinda short...) How many people thought it was gonna be Jonathan? Not yet sillies! I hope you guys like! Feel free to comment and such! Off to go not be a lump and do some exercising. Love you all!**

 **~Undeniably Peculiar**


	8. Chapter 8

"Rock Solid Panda? That's the new name of your band?" I said sipping my cappuccino in our spot at the local Starbucks. I recently came to like coffee but only with a LOT of sugar.

Simon had always dreamed of being in a band, ever since we were little kids. Growing up he had bounced around between bands but none of them ever stayed together for too long. Apparently, since moving to college he had found himself a stable crew but they had been unable to come up with a name ever since they got together.

"Yup! Isn't it great? We have a gig this Friday at The Bug Jar bar downtown, I can already picture them announcing our new name and the crowd going wild." Simon said and he stared off dreamily into space.

Simon was an engineering major but his true love was music. It was too bad he was only moderately talented.

"Crowd? I'm sure I can count on one hand the close friends you have on campus." Simon had always been the shy type, we both knew it.

"Well Eric has a lot of connections on campus and he put up an online flier that's gonna be all over social media. So there is bound to be a crowd. And now with a name like Rock Solid Panda people are sure to be interested in our sound." His eagerness mimicked that of a child in a toyshop, it was kind of adorable.

"Well no matter who else is going, you know I'll be there. And who knows….maybe Izzy and friends will want to join."

"You really think she would want to come?"

"Maybe, if you're lucky. Plus she seems like the going out and having a good time kind of girl, I think you'd be surprised what she might say if you asked."

"I don't know…. Maybe."

"It couldn't hurt."

"I'm just glad you'll be there. Its really cool to have you back in the crowd."

Jonathan never let me go to see Simon's shows. He always thought that there was too many people there and he definitely was not fond of my best friend being a guy even though I assured him on countless occasions that he was only a friend.

"Me too. You better be prepared for some loud cheering." I laughed.

Simon chuckled too, "Oh I'm ready don't you worry."

I glanced out the window and watched the cars drive by. Sometimes I could just get lost in the idea that the whole time I was stuck in the relationship with Jonathan, everyone else's lives just kept going. It was a scary thought to know just how insignificant the lives of the individual seem on a larger scale. But we live life for the little things and the people around us, not the ones driving by with ignorance.

"Hey, you okay?" Simon's soft words lulled me from out of my trance.

"Oh yea I'm fine. Just thinking. I can't believe that it's already been a month since school has started. I find myself truly feeling like I finally got the fresh start that I was hoping but usually those thoughts are soon crushed by the memories." I say as they begin to course through me.

"You did get a fresh start. He doesn't know where you are, you are living your life freely, plus, no one here knows about it except me." Simon said stroking my back. The strokes stopped once he felt me tense beneath him. "Or does someone else know…?"

"Well…Jace knows"

"Jace? Why Jace?" I was relieved to hear only a little judgment in his voice.

"Well it's a long story but basically if I didn't tell him he would have thought that I was a freak."

"Okay…I guess…as long as you're okay with it." I thought that maybe Simon was coming around to seeing Jace's better half too. The idea lightened my mood.

"I am. But on a better note, lets go find you a kick ass outfit to where on Friday."

Drinks in hand we hit the mall. Well it was more like I hit the mall and dragged Simon around like my personal dress up doll but it was exactly how things used to be and that meant the world to me.

Xxx

The following day brought about another round of figure drawing. Jace had been in to model different body parts and as our friendship had grown the encounters had become less and less awkward. I had yet to actually see him in his full nude glory but I wasn't exactly looking forward to that day.

The weather outside as I walked to class was pretty miserable. The sky was dark and dreary while the rain poured down in buckets. My favorite flower printed rain boots splashed with each step. I pulled the hood of my purple raincoat lower and picked up the pace.

Reaching the studio, I wandered to my seat and began to take out my paints. We had moved to a different medium today and I was more than happy to be working with paint. The way the colors were always so saturated and bright always managed to brighten my day more than working with colored pencils or charcoal would.

Mr. Garroway came crashing through the door before knocking the water out of his umbrella and sauntered over to his desk.

"Alright class, today we will be working with paint and we are looking for photo realism. Which means that today will be the first of a series of days in which you will be working with the model on the same pose. Evidently it will be difficult to reposition the model perfectly the same time each session but do your best to work with it. The goal is to put everything that we have been working on these passed few classes together and create a whole figure that is anatomically correct and to scale. Jace will be our model today once again. He will be here in two minutes so get your things together."

The pieces clicked into place very slowly. Jace. Model. Body. Together. Oh man. Today is the day. Painting Jace in full nude.

I blushed at the thought. Sure I expected this to happen eventually, but no matter what, it's going to be totally awkward. There was a small part of me, however, that was excited to learn his story.

Jace strode into the room, obviously avoiding me and began to undress. I couldn't help but watch as he lifted the hem of his shirt to expose his perfectly sculpted abs. Once the shirt was gone he went to work on his jeans. I gulped involuntarily. His golden locks fell beside his head as he focused on the task at hand. Hands on the button, he finally looked up. We locked eyes and the fire was intense. He slowly unbuttoned the jeans and slid the pants down off his hips, never breaking eye contact. I began to question if the other students were aware of the energy passing between us, but I couldn't look away. As the jeans hit the floor, so did Jace's eyes. I could tell he was trying to control himself and I didn't know whether to be excited or nervous about it. Finally, Jace grabbed the band of his boxers and stripped out of them, no hesitation or delay. I couldn't help but look…

And man…

I blushed.

I looked away quickly but Jace had caught the glance. I had to give him props for not having a hard on, god knows I was pretty turned on. Maybe he didn't like me that way. But the look we had shared. That couldn't mean nothing.

I had to focus. It helped that Jace avoided even looking in my general direction.

He got into place on the stool and the work commenced. First, I sketched out the general curves of his body. I had taken an anatomy class in high school so it helped to know how the muscles laid against the body. I made sure that each muscle was attended to with the utmost care.

I started from his head, working down. First, my pencil drew the delicate lines of the trapezius, which flowed into the deltoids down to the biceps and the forearms. Next came the pectorals down to the abdominals, which were so evidently laid out, to the quadriceps and finally the calved.

As I slowly sank deeper and deeper into my world, the classroom faded around me.

Finally, I was ready to paint. I grabbed my brush to start laying down the base coat. As soon as the paint hit the canvas his story was laid out for me.

The brush flowed smoothly first, he was apart of a loving family that gave him all the love that he could possibly ask for. He was a happy child.

But everything changed when something happened to his father. The brush strokes became short and curt.

His mother was left to care for him and she tried but she couldn't make ends meet. She was forced to live with a man who emotionally abused her in order to keep a roof over his head. The guilt Jace felt came pouring onto the canvas. My heart clenched at the weight that little Jace had to bear.

I grabbed the black as more and more of the negativity surrounded me. He tried to help by stealing food and clothes. But his actions caught up to him landing him with community service since he was still a minor.

They lived in a very run down neighborhood with gangs running up amuck. On multiple occasions they tried to convince Jace to join, but no matter how desperate he was, he knew not to mess with them. After many rejections, the gangs decided to show him a lesson by a group beat down. He escaped but not without the scars to remind him. The brush added shadow to the slightly raised scar.

From that day on he vowed never to let anyone take advantage of him and to do that he needed the body and the confidence to show everyone that he wasn't going to take shit. He used girls, he scared the guys, but his reputation protected him. No one ever messed with him again.

"That enough for today, we will continue these next class."

Mr. Garroway's voice pulled me from my world. The story slipped through my grasp and faded like a dream only leaving a cold hurt. Sometimes the stories stay, but sometimes they slip away.

As I came back to the present, I realized that I was crying. I quickly wiped my tears and packed up, hoping that no one would see.

"Are you okay?" Jace's voice was warm behind me.

"Oh yea, I'm fine. Just got some paint in my eye." He could tell I didn't exactly want to talk about it.

"Here I thought it was my beauty."

We chuckled and headed out, falling right into step side by side. But I knew something was different. I had seen a part of Jace that he may not have wanted me to see. I didn't know what exactly it was but I couldn't help but feel like I had intruded. Maybe one day he would tell me himself.

Xxx

" _Sir I think we found something. We aren't entirely sure where the girl is just yet but our techs saw that her best friend Simon's band will be playing a gig this Friday at The Bug Jar café. We believe that even if she does not attend the nearby university that she will be there in support of her friend and to earn his trust back."_

" _Perfect."_

" _We have set up a team to go and surveillance the place to ensure whether or not our suspicions are indeed correct."_

" _No, I will go. I'll go alone."_

" _But Jonathan, sir-"_

 _With a wave of his hand the detective silenced._

" _Besides, Simon and I have some catching up to do..."_

 **Oh damn, what's going to happen? Bum bum bummmmmmmm…. Just kidding. Kinda. So tell me what you think! Im trying to bring Simon and Izzy into the story more, I get too focused on Jace and Clary, which is totally understandable. Feel free to leave a comment!**

 **~UndeniablyPeculiar**


	9. Chapter 9

With two days until Rock Solid Panda's gig, Simon was in full crazy mode.

"Clary, do you think this flier catches the eye? Does it portray our cool yet totally rocker vibe?"

"Simon, you have already put up three different types of fliers around campus, another version on every social media, and a giant poster in the front of the dining hall, don't you think that's enough?"

"You don't understand! This could be our big break! We could go on to tour the world…"Simon looked off in a daze, suddenly enraptured by his daydream.

"Okay hot shot" I scuffed.

"Come on, Clary. Just entertain me. I need your artistic eye." Simon whined.

I didn't like getting his hopes up by making really awesome posters and having little to no one show up. Then there would be a week of ice cream eating, crying, movie binging (usually sci fis) and never leaving his room. He was worse than a girl whose boyfriend broke up with her on the same week she got her period and her dog died….Okay maybe that's a little over the top but Simon could be a handful sometimes.

"It looks really good, Simon. I swear." I smirk a little "I think my skills might be rubbing off on you"

A huge smile bloomed on Simon's face and I couldn't help but mirror that smile.

"So how are classes going?" I asked trying to move the conversation in a different direction. It had already been a couple months and things had been going well for me. You might be thinking "Wow Clary is making friends and enjoying school and everything is perfect for someone with anxiety." Fun fact: for someone with anxiety "well" really refers to the fact that I haven't had an anxiety attack since my night out with Jace.

I still haven't done anything with Izzy since bowling other than seeing her in class. Mostly my social interactions were limited to coffee with Simon and the occasional meetings with my teachers (I know I'm a pathetic college student). But this was okay for me. I didn't need Jace constantly making my life stressful and for once things were actually okay. I smiled to myself.

Jace knew my secret and I was okay with that. I knew he wouldn't tell anyone and honestly after drawing him I felt like I knew his secret too. It was nice to have someone understand why I was a loner and totally be okay with it. But the fact of the matter remains that when I'm around him I feel all sorts of emotions that are just not welcome right now. I still need to find myself and even though its only been two months, I've already started that journey.

"Oh man. Why did I choose engineering again? I swear the teachers are having a competition as to who can assign more work in a single week. I've basically lived at the library." Simon's head dropped.

"Should have become an art major. You get to spend hours drawing. You can't get much better" I joked.

"Well maybe I would have considered it if I could've learned to perfect a stick figure." Simon was truly awful at art.

"You're ridiculous"

We spent the next two hours laughing, talking and joking about everything. I may not have a large number of friends but I was okay with that, all I really needed was Simon.

* * *

With Simon's mention of the library, I thought that it might be a good idea to go that night. I had let my non art work build up and I really didn't want to be pulling all-nighters so soon in the semester.

As I walked to the big brick building containing dozens of studious students, I couldn't help but enjoy the air, stars and overall atmosphere that came with this school. The air was refreshingly cold and the stars were so clear it looked like there were more stars than sky.

I came upon the big open doors and, with only slight hesitation, walked inside. Although this was my first time at the library, I knew they had small individual rooms on the top floor, which I immediately headed to.

Dressed in black sweats, a green long sleeve, and a high bun, I choose a room towards the end. The room was small, smaller than a bathroom, and had just enough room for the door to swing open, a desk and a chair. It had a nice little window and a lock on the door. It was perfect.

I sat down, did as much procrastinating as I could which included turning on music, scrolling through social media and checking my three emails, until I finally opened my art history and art in society textbooks. I got to work.

I was about an hour and a half into one of my assignments when movement out the window caught my eye. I looked up to my surprise to see Jace deeply engrossed in a text.

Che. He doesn't seem like the studious type, more like the type to woo the teacher with good looks and charm.

A small smile dusted my lips as I thought about Jace in a small coffee shop enjoying a book. Such a strange daydream.

My thoughts were cut off when a busty redhead came sauntering up to him. She immediately hugged him from behind and planted a soft kiss on his temple. His smile was blinding. And right at the same time, I must have gotten something in my eye because my vision became blurry. I looked away, I needed to focus on my work. But after about two minutes of pretending to focus, I turned back. His smile had faded quite a bit, which made me annoyingly happy, but a kind smile stayed on his lips.

I watched the two engage in conversation, trying desperately to understand their miming. Her flirting so evident I wanted to puke. But she was beautiful and thus I hated her. She had curves that I could only dream about and a genuine smile. Her hair was not as bright red as mine but still natural and perfect.

Jace may not be beaming but I could tell he liked what he saw and was enjoying himself.

The room was starting to close in.

Jace didn't owe me anything and yet I still felt betrayed.

It hurt more than it should.

They were just talking.

He wasn't doing anything wrong.

I couldn't take that little room anymore. I guess it was a good idea that I witnessed the encounter. He may know my secret but that didn't mean we had to be close. It didn't mean that I was something more to him.

I gathered my stuff and headed out hoping he wouldn't notice. I stepped out of the room….

"Hey, Clary!"

I turn quickly and gasp slightly at his smile.

 _Stay cool Clary, don't forget what you just saw._

"Oh hey, never thought I'd see you here" I try to joke

"I'm actually here more than you think. Wanna join?"

I wasn't expecting an invite. I look over at the redhead.

"Naw, I'm good, I actually just finished. Plus you look a little busy." I say nodding toward the redhead. "I'll see you around."

I turn on my heel making sure he didn't have time to get a word in before I'm at the stairs heading down.

I didn't need him, I had Simon.

Oh, shoot, the concert. I meant to invite Jace and the gang….

I contemplate going back, but there is no way I can face that redhead again. I'm sure Ill be fine on my own.

What's the worse that can happen?

* * *

 **Hey Guys! Long time no see, haha I know, I'm an awful author. I decided to continue the story going and allow myself an outlet during the craziness of school. I hope you guys don't hate me too much and enjoy the next chapter. Hope Ill be able to post again relatively soon.**

 **Love always 3**

 **Undeniably Peculiar**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys! I thought as an apology I would actually write another chapter (I also had a lot of free time between classes) and give yall something you could sink your teeth in to. This is definitely my favorite chapter thus far and I think it has really brought back my desire to write. I hope you like! Sorry in advance for any spelling or grammar errors, as I don't read over my work (I know I suck). Don't forget to favorite, follow or leave a review! I love reviews**

 **~UndeniablyPeculiar**

The day of Simon's gig finally arrived and to say he was excited would be an understatement.

"Clary! Are you sure this outfit is okay? Should I put on eyeliner? Don't girls like that?"

"Simon!" I screamed from the comfort of my super warm blanket. "It is 6am don't you think this can wait?"

"Clary this is my future! I cant just wait for my future!"

"No Simon, that's exactly what you are supposed to do" I chuckled. He really was ridiculous.

"Ugh, fine. You have two hours and then I'm gonna be outside this door singing "My Heart Will Go On" on repeat until you open this door."

I got really lucky that day that both my classes were cancelled and I was going to fully take advantage of that.

* * *

As I figured, Simon wasn't kidding. At 8am on the dot, Simon began his completely off key rendition of "My Heart Will Go On." I debated letting him get through the song a couple times so people would complain and teach him a lesson. But I'm a better friend than that; well that's what I tell myself.

The morning was spent with deciding on the perfect combination of new clothes we had bought a few days before. After about two hours of outfit changes, he decided upon distressed dark blue jeans, a "Save the Pandas" grey t-shirt with a blue flannel, white converse and a dark grey beanie. He looked pretty damn good.

Afterwards, Simon scampered off to fangirl with his band mates and begin packing up their equipment which gave me just enough time to get some work done, pick out my own outfit, and pray that everything would go okay tonight.

* * *

The band was already in full swing by the time I arrived at the bar. Simon already knew I was going to be late even though I didn't tell him. When it came to social gatherings I was always late since I wanted to spend the least amount of time at them possible, but I still wanted to support my best friend at what he loved. I just wished what he loved was a lot less crowded.

I had picked out dark blue skinny jeans that were rolled up at the bottom, a dark purple v-neck t-shirt and black low top converse. While I thought I looked pretty good standing in my bedroom, in the middle of the dance floor I felt more than exposed. Crossing my arms, I headed to the bar to grab a soda and find a dark corner to watch the show from.

The banded actually sounded pretty good. I was surprised. All of Simon's bands have failed miserably but this one had potential. There were definitely moments where it was obvious that they needed more practice but it was still a huge step up from Simon's old bands.

The gig was going from 8-11pm and it was about 8:30ish so I figured I could get away with watching and cheering for about an hour or so, congratulate him during the break and slowly slip into the night. That sounded like a good plan.

I leaned against the wall watching the groups of people crowded around the stage. The band had chosen a pretty good set list incorporating bands like Panic! At the Disco, Fall Out Boy, Halsey and many more of the alternative styles. The crowd seemed to be eating up, completely ignoring that the lead singer, Jordan, had totally flubbed the words or that the guitarist, Eric, kept hitting the wrong note during the chorus.

As my eyes continued to scan the room, they laid upon raven black hair that could only belong to one girl. Izzy immediately locked eyes with me, smiled and motioned me to come over. How did they know about this? Did Simon already invite her? Id be proud of him if he finally found the balls to ask a girl out (kinda).

I walked toward her and prayed that Jace wasn't with her but I already knew that if Izzy were here, Jace wouldn't be far behind.

"Hey girl! Long time no see. Well outside of class anyways" Izzy said as I approached.

I chuckled, "yeah, you know, lots of work."

I really had plenty of chances to contact her but I'm not good with people.

"I'm surprised to see you here. Did Simon invite you?" I asked curiously.

"No actually I saw one of the many signs he put up around the place and actually asked him about it. He blushed so hard when I mentioned I was gonna come that I had to see if the blush would get any redder if I actually showed."

That sounded like Simon.

"Oh, yup. That sounds like him." I smiled, "Did you come alone?"

As I asked the question, it was answered. Through the spattering of people behind Izzy came Alec and Jace, holding drinks. Jace and I locked eyes but I immediately looked away silently cursing whatever superior power there was that liked to toy with my life.

I turned back to Izzy, "So what do you think? Of the band I mean."

"They are pretty good, definitely could use some more practice and someone who has a better trained ear but the crowd definitely looks like they are enjoying themselves and with a few drinks I could be too." She said taking the drink from Jace's hand.

Jace and Alec were both over 21 so I wasn't surprised to see them buying Izzy a drink but I'm sure Izzy could easily get any guy in the room to buy here one.

"Do you want one?" Jace asked, his voice directly in my ear to speak over the band. A shiver ran down my spine.

"Uh, no, I'm good, I don't drink." I replied shakily.

"Oh come on, loosen up, you know you want one." His breath grazing my ear sending another shiver.

I stiffened once his words set in. Jonathan's voice echoed in my ear _"You know you want it Clary, admit it"_

"I said no." I said as I took a large step away.

Izzy had gone to join the crowd and do what she did best but not without the supervision of Alec in the background. I was hoping that Jace would get the picture and go flirt with the girls at the bar but he stayed where he was.

After about five minutes, he took a step toward me and began talking over the music but no longer in my ear.

"So Red" relating back to the nickname he gave me on the first day, "how's the doodling life?"

"I'm sure its not as good as the life of a player," I responded cheekily. He flinched slightly and I knew my words hit home. I felt a little bad but it was the truth.

"Ouch Red, that burned."

"Well if I'm too hot for you, then why don't you go mess around with that other, slightly duller red head I saw you with. I'm sure she doesn't burn quite as badly." I bit back wishing he would just go away.

His eyes darkened slightly. I was confused until I realized that I just called myself hot and challenged him all in the same sentence. Damn it.

I blushed and looked away.

"You better be careful, Red." His voice low and much closer.

I snapped my head back up, sick of his games.

"My name is Clary, not Red. And I can say what I want, when I want, where I want. Just because you know something personal about me doesn't give you full reign to play with me as you please." I could feel my face getting heated.

He turned around and for a split second I thought he was going to walk away when he turned back, grabbed me by the hand and headed towards the door. I struggled but his grip was unrelenting.

As I was being dragged out I could hear the last song ending before the break. I caught Simon's eye and sent him a silent apology. I could tell he was a little disappointed but understood. Ill always be grateful that Simon can understand me so well.

 **Xxx Simon's Point of View xxX**

As I put my guitar back on the stand, I couldn't help but wonder why Jace was dragging her outside. Clary was the one person who I wanted to share this experience with. She would come find me when they were done.

The show was going so much better than any of the band members could have thought. There were more people than expected and almost everyone was hitting their notes. The high was amazing. Maybe I could get a girls number.

The owner of the bar was nice enough to give the guys a couple of drinks on the house as a thank you for bringing so many people in. I was more than happy to accept those drinks.

I headed back stage to grab my flannel as it had gotten way to hot during the show.

As I reached to pick it up off the ground, someone or something came at me from behind. Next thing I know there is a hand over my mouth and I'm being dragged into the storage room. I struggle and in response get a hard punch to the gut. Instantly I double over in pain. What the fuck was going on? Was this some crazy fangirl? Do we even have those yet?

As my eyes adjust to the dark, I glance up to look at my attacker. There are two men. One is incredibly built, obviously a body builder or security guard or wrestler or something. I don't even pay his facial features a second thought because immediately the other man caught my eye.

I knew who it was the second I laid my eyes on the evil smile and piercing eyes. I would never forget his face after what he did to my best friend. Jonathan was truly a monster and he was standing before me with all the power.

"What are you doing here?" I spat, attempting to stand.

"Oh just thought that I would stop by and see how an old friend was doing," his smile widening with every sarcastic word.

"Why thanks for dropping by, really appreciate the little gift," I could play his game.

"Anytime."

"Now why are you really here?" I already knew but I wanted to hear it from him.

"Well I came hoping to persuade you to give me information on my girl," I cringe, "but just to my luck she happened to be in the crowd. Can't miss hair like that." He smiled.

"Don't you dare touch her," I snarled

"I don't think you are in the proper condition to be making demands."

"I swea-" I started but was given another hard punch to the gut. This one had me on the floor. The pain was unbearable.

"Oh don't worry, I'm not going after her. I'm going to make her come after me" His eyes brighten.

" Ha. Doubtful."

"Oh you'll see, she's going to beg me to take her back."

"How exactly do you plan to do that?" I ask fighting a wave of nauseosness.

"I can't tell you my plan. Do you think this is some cliché movie?"

He's got a point there but it was worth a shot.

"I won't let you"

"You will, you won't know it but you will."

I didn't like the sound of that.

The crowd started to cheer.

"Oh it looks like you're back on! Better get out there. But first, my friend here is going to leave you with one more gift and you should take it as a warning for if you mention anything to anyone about my being here. I will hurt you, then I will hurt Clary. If I were you I wouldn't cross me." He strode towards the door, before he opened it, he turned back once more and said "For her sake."

And with that he was gone.

Security man gave me a couple more blows, I could tell he was holding back but was giving just enough to teach me my lesson.

What was I going to do?

 **Xxx Clary's Point of View xxX**

Jace dragged me to an adjacent alleyway before letting me go.

"What is your problem?" I seethed.

"What is my problem?" He asked dumbfounded, "What is your problem?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about, I'm fine." I lied.

"Oh come on, Clary. Do you really think I'm that stupid?" He said running his fingers through his gold locks.

He looked so good and all he was wearing was simple blue jeans and a dark grey shirt that hugged all the right places. It was not fair.

"I don't know what you are talking about." I repeat.

"Oh no?" He was getting angry, "Well you've been all but ignoring me these passed few weeks, you all but blew me off at the library, and now you are acting so cold. Care to explain?"

I didn't really know how to react, he was right after all. But I wasn't going to let him win.

"I have not been ignoring you, its called being busy. You should know what that is, Mr. Popular. And at the library, you had a girl ALL over you and you think I wanted to stick around to watch her claim her territory? And I know you've never experienced rejection from a girl before but this is what is looks like." I scream.

I could see just about all of his muscles clenching. He was hot when he was angry. Noted.

"You really are fucking something, ya know." And with that Jace crossed the distance between us.

Before I could comprehend what was happening, he laid both of his hands on either side of my face and crushed his lips against mine.

It was hot and desperate and so many more things. I could feel my body aching for more. It was a feeling unlike anything I had felt before.

He grazed his tongue against my lips, asking for permission and I eagerly accepted. My head swam as he deepened the kiss. I lifted my hands to stabilize myself so I wouldn't fall but the feeling of his body beneath my hands only made the fuzziness worse. Almost as though he could feel my control slipping, he moved his hands down my hair and around the small of my back pressing himself against me. I could feel his heart pounding against mine. I melted.

Eventually (like 5 minutes) things cooled down and only small, light kisses remained. He pulled back and looked at me.

I was so confused. What did this mean? Was this one of his games? Was he playing me? Should I try to play this game?

It was too much.

And without a word, I slipped from his embrace and headed back inside.

* * *

After trying to think things over, I headed back inside for the end of the set.

I caught the last too songs, but something seemed wrong. Simon wasn't as excited as before and he was bending over strange, like he had a stomachache. I hoped he wasn't about to puke.

Once the set was over I ran up to him congratulating and praising him. They had done so well for their first gig and it looked like the band was already setting up another gig date.

Of course, Simon being Simon could tell something was up. But when he asked I brushed it aside. Strangely, when I asked about what was up with him he stiffened slightly and brushed me aside as well. I wasn't about to pry but I made note to ask him about it later.

Afterwards I searched for Alec and Izzy to say goodbye but I found Izzy drapping herself over some guy while Alec was talking with another. Before anyone could notice, I slipped out and headed back to my dorm.

I had some serious thinking to do.


	11. Chapter 11

It had already been three days since the kiss and I couldn't stop thinking about it. It seemed to come out of nowhere. I mean I know that we had some kind of connection but I thought it was because we knew each other's stories. I mean we drive each other crazy every time we see each other. Is this what he does with every girl? Just surprise them and have them wooed because they didn't expect it? That had to be it. I don't kno-

"Clary? Yoohoo? You in there?" Simon chirped, breaking my internal rant.

"Oh, yea, sorry. What were you saying?"

"What is up with you recently? You have been acting so strange since the show." He asked, a trace of true concern evident in his voice.

"Yea I'm fine. Just worried about a test I had forgotten about that I have tomorrow." I replied halfheartedly. I didn't mean to worry Simon but he already warned me to stay away from Jace and after everything that happened with Jonathan I didn't want Simon thinking I didn't value his opinion.

"Oh, well don't worry about that, I'm sure you'll do great. You always do."

This was true, ever since I was really young I had been good at picking things up quickly. No matter if it was studies, skateboarding, or even cooking, things just came easy to me. Well, everything but life.

I chuckled "Yea I know, but it's still hard not to worry."

Simon nodded in response. I slipped my hand into the bag of garden salsa Sunchips I had in front of me. Simon had shown up begging for me to listen to new songs to decide if they were a good fit for his band. Since they had gotten such a good reaction from their first performance the entire band was dedicating every second of free time to perfecting their act. They truly thought that they could go somewhere with this…

"So what do you think about this one?" He asked beginning the next song titled "Death of a Bachelor" by Panic! at the Disco.

As I listened to the song play, I felt myself being pulled into my thoughts. All I wanted to do was analyze and over analyze the kiss. Music was always a good thinking catalyst for me, but I stopped myself before I got too enveloped.

"Actually I think this is a really great song. It definitely fits with the band's vibe but you are gonna have to do some serious work if you plan on pulling it off. "

When I reached down to take another chip, movement caught my eye. The clock had changed from 12:54 to 12:55. I had a class at one o'clock halfway across campus. Shit.

I dropped the chip before it even reached my mouth.

"Goddamnit" I screamed. Simon's head snapped up, immediately on high alert. "I have a class in five minutes and it normally takes me ten just to get there."

I scrambled around desperately grabbing all my supplied before sprinting out the door. Simon had no time to get an assuring word in before my person was gone.

As I ran through campus I couldn't help but appreciate the beautiful day. Institute University was notorious for its bleak weather basically all year round. When these days came around, no matter how bad my day's going, I made sure to appreciate them.

I checked my watch once the academic building came into view. 12:59. Almost there.

I crossed the threshold at one o'clock on the dot, completely sweaty and out of breath. Staring right at me is a very naked, Jace but this time there is no towel to cover up what lies below. My mouth dropped open as I involuntarily look at him in all his glory.

I caught the attention of everyone in the room and I couldn't help but blush profusely. Lowering my head, I rushed over to my station and began setting up. The past few weeks we had been working with the different models so often that I forgot about Jace being one entirely. This was not fair. Why did this have to happen so soon after the kiss? Everywhere I turned, Jace was there. The world definitely loves to hate me.

As I busied myself getting my paints and paintbrushes ready, Mr. Garroway began explaining the assignment. Today we were supposed to convey an emotion of our choice through the painting by altering color, stroke, and medium. I kept my gaze locked on Mr. Garroway as he spoke; I wasn't about to look at Jace anymore than I had to.

Even though I kept my eyes off of him, I could tell his eyes were on me.

After about five minutes of explanation on the assignment, Mr. Garroway set us off to our own devices. Jace had been asked to lean against a stool and to take whatever position he found most comfortable. With one leg bent and resting on a peg behind him, his posture displayed a cool confident aura. It was obvious he had no problem with being naked.

I looked over his body. I blushed harder remembering how not too long ago this figure of solid muscle was pressed against me, with hands in my hair and lips on my mouth.

I needed to get to work.

I picked up a pencil and began the rough sketches of where I was going to paint. I focused on the shapes and curves of his body, trying to forget about the man it belonged to.

The sketching came easily and I settled into a rhythm. The graphite practically laid down itself.

I finished the sketching rather quickly. Unlike most people I didn't need too much guidance from a pencil when it came to painting.

Picking up the largest paintbrush I began applying the foundation color. As the figure on the pages begins to take shape I am reminded of the man before me. I look up to double check the flow between the neck and shoulder and we accidentally lock eyes.

There was a fire in them that made a blush surface on my cheeks. His body was conveying a cool sense, while his eyes were hotter than the sun, brighter than my hair, and yearning for something I had not yet come to know.

I looked away but the gaze does not leave me. As I began to lay down the details with a shaky hand, a different story was portrayed before me.

Jace was a young man. He had made himself something and nobody messed with him. The gangs didn't bother and the bullies shied away in fear. He was on top of the world.

Everywhere he went, he received plenty of attention. He was the pretty boy. Girls stared. Guys stared. They all either wanted him or wanted to be him.

It didn't take long before the girls started to throw themselves at him. They all wanted a little taste of the mysterious, sexy blonde god.

Hot touches. Skin against skin. Breathy moans.

Most of the girls didn't bother trying to stick around and Jace had no problem with being an ass to the girls who did. To be fair they only wanted to show off a new toy after all.

Nails scratching. Sweaty bodies. Hands fisted in hair.

There were so many girls.

Blonde. Brunette. Black

All different shapes.

Thin. Thick. Curvy.

All because he could.

The paintbrush dropped.

I stood in front of the canvas panting slightly. There was a damp feeling on my cheeks, was I crying? I felt drained.

When I finally look at the canvas, a shock runs through me. Had I really created this?

Before me sat a hyper-realistic painting of the man before me. But something was different. Something was wrong.

Technically the work was amazing, probably one of my best. The skin was delicately blended but was accentuated with harsh shadows used to sculpt each individual muscle. His gold eyes shown bright with hints of brown and red, illuminating the fire contained within. His hair was just the right amount of distressed, portraying the don't-give-a-shit attitude and his body, although positioned relaxed, seemed to scream sex in the painting. Yet there was something dark to it. A darkness within the fire.

The story remained fresh in my mind but I think somewhere along the way my own anger and jealousy slipped onto the page.

I heard footsteps behind me. The class was still silently painting.

"Wow, Clary. This is amazing." Mr. Garroway said but it was obvious he could see the dark sensual nature of the piece.

"Uh thanks," I replied blushing slightly. This was not what I was expecting to create.

The exchange had caught Jace's attention and I could tell he was itching to see, yet there was a trace of concern on his face. I quickly began packing up my paint and brushes. There were only five minutes left of class and students could paint up until the end.

I wanted to get out of there before Jace was allowed to move. I couldn't handle facing him just yet. I didn't want him to see what I made. What would he think of it?

Three minutes to go and I'm just about done with packing up. My hands are shaking as I rush but not too fast as to not draw more attention to myself. I could tell that Jace was eager to be done. Whether it was to see the painting or address me, I didn't know. I just needed to get out of there.

I grabbed the canvas and began weaving in and out of the students, careful not to let Jace get a peak. As I walked, each student got a glimpse of the piece and each one looked away quickly fully understanding the emotion behind it. I was mortified.

I dropped the canvas off in a separate room where finished works were to be handed in and practically sprinted towards the door. Chairs began scraping behind me as I put my hand on the doorknob.

"Clary. Wait." Jace yelled across the room. The chairs stopped moving and silence filled the room. Everyone was waiting to see what I would do. I needed more time. And with that, I turned the handle and escaped into the bright world beyond.

* * *

"Hey, Iz! I'm so glad you texted me cause I had TOTALLY forgotten about the chem assignment and I'm already doing pretty shitty in the class."

After my embarrassing classroom stunt, Izzy had texted me hoping to do a chemistry assignment together which I, of course, had forgotten about. Why does an art major need chemistry anyways?

"No problem," she chuckled, "I was desperate for girl time. Even if it does include chem"

The assignment was a series of ten questions that took us about an hour and a half to complete. I don't even know why she asked me to help her out cause she was doing all the work and then explaining to me how she got to her answer. She was a genius.

Although I felt like deadweight, I was thankful that she was helping me.

"All done!" We both relaxed as the stress of the assignment slipped away.

"Well, now what?" I asked. I was hoping she wouldn't tell me to leave.

"Girl's Night!" She screamed excitedly. I knew the concept of a girl's night but I had never experienced one other than my mom and I drinking wine and painting into the early hours of the morning together.

"Sure," I smiled softly "What do you want to do tho?"

She looked at me as though I had three heads.

"Chick flicks and chocolate duh."

Of course.

"Oh yea, what are we watching?" I could make it through this. Be strong.

"I have an entire Nicholas Sparks collection, take your pick."

I approached the stack of DVDs and selected a movie called "Safe Haven" while Izzy went to go get the chocolate.

As I popped the DVD into the player, Izzy turned and stared quizzically.

"Is there something on my face?" I questioned.

"Haha, no. Sorry. I was actually just thinking. You're good at art right?"

Oh god had she heard about earlier? I nodded in reply.

"Oh goodie. I was hoping on getting a tattoo soon but I can't decide if it would look good. You think you could draw it on me so that way I could have an idea?"

Well, I wasn't expecting that questions but I was more than happy to be useful. After agreeing I set up a series of skin safe pens (I doodle a lot), and Izzy got in position. She wanted the tattoo on her back so she sat in front of me without a shirt and her bra unbuckled. The tattoo was a series of intricate lines she wanted to go down the center of her back.

As the movie started, I got to work. Izzy talked throughout the whole movie so I questioned why we even had it on. I was grateful for her talking though because apparently, the movie was about a girl on the run from an abusive boyfriend with ties to the police. I really should have read the summary before choosing the movie.

I interjected where I felt appropriate to tell her I was still listening even though I was very focused on the tattoo. It was beautiful really. It accentuated the natural curves of her body and was stark against her light skin. I could tell she was going to love it. By the time the movie ended, I was done. Tears had pricked the back of my eyes as I watched the main female character fall into the safe arms of the man she loved and he accepted her even after her secret endangered his family. It was just a movie.

"Oh Clary, its beautiful!" She exclaimed loudly and it was. "Why aren't you a tattoo artist? I wish you could do this permanently." I felt my ego grow slightly.

"I'm glad you like it," I say as I watch her examine her back in the mirror in her room. Izzy had a single too and it was very similar to mine. The only difference was she was a mess. Everywhere I looked there was a mess of some sort. I guess everyone had their flaws.

After spending about three hours between chemistry work and movie watching/ drawing I figured it was time to head back. I thanked Izzy for our time and agreed to another night in two weeks.

As I walked back to my dorm, I couldn't help myself from smiling as I realized I actually have another friend other than Simon for the first time in a long time.

 **Definitely enjoyed writing this one and ran into a few speed bumps but we made it. Hope you guys like. Let me know what you think!**

 **~UndeniablyPeculiar**


	12. Chapter 12

Last night's girl's night was more fun than I expected. It had been years since I had just relaxed with any girlfriends. Of course I had hung with Simon numerous times since things ended between Jonathan and I, but he was like a brother to me. We didn't watch chick flicks, we watched sci-fi, we didn't do each other's nails, we played video games. And of course, I didn't mind because I loved all those things, I loved hanging with Simon. But it was nice to be a girly girl every once in a while.

I never really had many girl friends because the girly things didn't really interest me. I didn't do much over art on my free time and the few girls I did have as friends, didn't stick around very long once Jonathan came into the picture. It's strange sometimes, looking back at the old me, at what I tolerated with him.

I have to admit; I'm slightly disappointed in myself for being so naïve. I mean when I look back I understand why I stayed. When I first met Jon, he was so incredibly charming and perfect. He would surprise me with little gifts, leave thoughtful poetry in my notebooks to find when I was studying, and a day would not go by without him telling me how much he loved me. My favorite memory with Jon was when we went to the amusement park; we spent all day riding the coasters, laughing at the high. Then Jon surprised me with a picnic at sunset in a little field with a basket full of my favorite food, penne ala vodka. We ate as we watch the sun dip below the trees and when it was completely dark we gazed at the stars. We ended the night with ice cream from my favorite store, before he dropped me off, and kissed me goodnight.

It hard to fully comprehend how someone so amazing could turn into someone so truly awful and possessive. When people find out what I went through they question why I stayed, just like I am questioning myself now. But I know that even though I had the truly worst times of my life, I also had some of the best. I still miss those days, the blissful young love. But I know I will never go back to him. I know that the man I loved is gone, and I am stronger now. Even if I am still plagued by the occasional nightmare, I am a new person and I will never let anyone treat me that way ever again.

I put down the tango tangerine colored pencil and held my sketchbook up to look at my piece from afar. The phoenix is elegant and beautiful yet strong and intimidating. Below it lies the ash from which it was born not too long ago. With such deep color saturation, the bird looks as though it is ready to fly from the page and begin its journey out in the world.

The prompt had been to draw from the heart, anything that we desired. Sometimes when I draw I don't realize what is happening, I only know what I'm creating when I'm done. This piece was one of those. I let my mind wander and allowed my hand to draw to its desire. The phoenix is perfect. It's exactly how I feel. Reborn. I am stronger and ready to take on the world. I'm ready to leave the past behind me. I can't keep letting Jon control me. By not allowing myself to fully move on, he is still in control. But not anymore. Like this phoenix I will fly.

* * *

On the walk back from class I think allow myself to think about the kiss. I don't know what it meant and over analyzing it would not do me any good. It was times like these where I wished my only friends consisted more than just a nerdy guy and a girl who was close friends with the kisser. I needed someone to analyze with and neither was a good choice.

I think the best thing I could do in this situation was just to ignore it. That way if it was nothing then Jace would have an out. We could just continue with our lives and pretend like it never happened. And on the off chance that it meant something then eventually it will come up again. Right?

Yea I'll definitely just ignore it.

Plus I had more important things to focus on, like the fact that my entire art class probably thinks that Jace and I are into some heavy kinky shit after my painting from the other day. And on that note, what was that story that came to me when painting?

Ever since I was a young girl, I had the ability to read people through art. My mom used to call it my superhero power, and to some extent, I believed it was a power. I had only been wrong a handful of times and it was usually a misunderstanding than being wrong per say. For example, I would read someone as a "player" when in reality they didn't believe in monogamy.

If my reading of Jace was right did that mean that he didn't enjoy being popular sex god that he constantly portrayed? Naw that can't be right, Jace was a cocky confident asshole by nature.

….But what if that's not really him….

"Hey Clary, wait up!"

I was suddenly pulled from my thoughts as Sebastian, one of my fellow art majors, came running up to me. I didn't know him much other than that he was from out of state and enjoyed horseback riding. Gotta love college ice breakers.

"Oh hey, what's up?" I say trying not to sound too confused as to why he was talking to me.

"Well right now the sky," he said, trying way too hard to be funny. I smiled harshly.

"Im sorry, that was bad. I know." He chuckled nervously, "Anyways, I was hoping I could potentially borrow your textbook for figure drawing. I seemed to have forgotten mine at home and I really need to see how to do some of the techniques for proportioning the body since my arms always seem to come out way too long and the heads too small."

"Oh yea of course, no problem. I can bring it to class on Wednesday." I say trying not to dwell on the fact that the library and his apparent best friend whom is also in the class both have copies that he could borrow.

"That would be great! Thanks so much" He said as though I had just promised to give him a limited edition copy of his favorite comic book.

"Its no problem"

"Well see you next class then," He said before scampering away.

Strange kid.

* * *

After spending much of the evening banging out the numerous assignments that all of my classes seemed to have given out all at once, I texted Simon hoping he'd be free for a mind numbing marathon of the Lord of the Rings series. Simon was always one to stay on top of his work, unlike me who liked to let things pile up, so he was usually free for anything. When Simon and I were in high school, we would always spend hours doing work together and as soon as we were done we would delve one of our favorite worlds, whether it be via movie, tv show or video game. Knowing that after the work, we got to play made focusing much easier.

 _Cant. Busy. ~Si_

Well damn. He must be really busy if he was turning down a LOTR marathon. Now what?

I looked around my dorm room hoping that inspiration would strike. Like many from my generation, I picked up my phone and opened Facebook when nothing else seemed better. Luckily the gods seem to be on my side tonight as I scroll passed an article discussing the new moon that was currently darkening the skies.

Most people would scroll passed this article as many don't care about new moons. A full moon tends to get more attention, as earth's large bright companion is always a beautiful sight to see in its entirety, contrasting the dark of night. But to me, it is the new moons that are important. When the main star takes a break, the supporting roles can be appreciated.

Ever since I was a little kid, my mom and I would use every new moon, as long as it was a clear night, to gaze upon the stars. They were some of my favorite memories with her. Most nights we would bring hot chocolate, regardless of the heat, and spend hours pointing out constellations as well as coming up with our own. Some nights, if mom had sold a particularly high priced painting, she would take me out to the 24-hour diner after our outings, which would sometimes end as late as two in the morning.

Luckily for me, Institute University was in the middle of bumblefuck nowhere. The biggest city was about 45 minutes away so the light pollution, would not be too bad when viewing the stars. After a little research, I discovered a small public park that looked to be about a ten-minute walk from campus. With my trusty converse on my feet, a blanket in one hand and a canister of hot chocolate in the other, I headed out to find the perfect star gazing spot.

The park was a little difficult to find. It was off of the main road, however, the park's entrance was not labeled. I ended up walking passed it before having to double back. The park's entrance was locked to keep cars out, however, the fence failed miserably at keeping out those that entered via feet.

After a short walk around, I found the perfect spot. It was a field that was almost completely surrounded by trees but the clearing was just large enough that my view of the sky would not be obscured.

The air was cool and crisp, signaling the approaching fall. Had the sun been out, one would see that the leaves were just beginning to change colors. I laid back allowing my body to sink into the soft grass, protected only by the thin blanket. For someone who loved nature, I really hated the feeling of grass on my skin. The blades of grass would tickle and poke me, as though bugs were constantly crawling. Whenever I went out into nature I always made sure to have a blanket.

The sky above was beautiful. Every inch of the velvety blackness was littered with bright pinpricks, like freckles in the sky.

As I gaze at the stars, my eyes connect the dots that form the many constellations. I had never been really great at seeing the constellations. My mom would quiz me on every outing but I could never seem to remember more than a few.

I took a deep breath of the cool air followed by a sip of the warm hot chocolate.

Stargazing always reminded me how small and unimportant my life is in the grand scheme of things. To many this would be unsettling but to me it was almost comforting. It reminded me that no matter how bad I fucked up in life, it didn't really matter because I am just a speck in the huge expanse that is the universe.

 _Crack._

Instinctively I looked in the direction of the sound, probably nothing more than a deer grazing in the field. But for whatever reason it left my stomach unsettled.

I tried to ignore the feeling and concentrate on the beauty of what was before me. I had only just begun to feel at ease when another crack sounded through the dead of night.

Without thought, I grabbed my stuff and took off running from where I came. The great unease that came with the second cracking noise caused my body to take off into a flight mode before my brain could fully process it. Before I knew it I was back on the well lit street but the unease didn't leave until I was back in my dorm room with the door locked and bolted shut.

* * *

 _Damn, stupid twigs. She fled faster than expected. But she was so beautiful gazing up at the stars. Her hair a fiery mess beneath her head. Her hands gracefully draped across her stomach in a soft hug. Her legs crossed at those oh so delicate ankles._

 _How I would give anything to run my lips over every inch of her beautiful complexion._

 _She was perfect in every way._

 _One day she would be mine._

 **Hey guys! I really appreciate all of those who follow this story but I must apologize for my fleeting nature. I go through periods of time where all I want to do is write and other periods where I don't even want to think about writing. Im an awful writer for keeping my fans waiting but thank you for being patient with me. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! It wasnt a particularly exciting chapter but every chapter cant be super exciting. Dont forget to like and comment 3**

 **~Undeniably Peculiar**


	13. Chapter 13

" _No please, Jonathan. Please, I don't want this" I screamed as I thrashed my head back and forth. All of my limbs pinned to the floor. I can smell the whiskey on his breath._

" _Oh baby, you say that now but I know you want it. You don't need to play hard to get." He whispered in my ear._

" _Help! Please, God, someone help me." tears flowed freely from my eyes._

 _With one arm free, he began to unbutton his pants as I continued to scream out for help. My screams slowly turn into wails as I began to realize there was no escape._

Knock. Knock. Knock.

 _That's strange. That's not how this dream normally goes._

 _The thought is fleeting as I Jonathan takes me and begins his assault, I cried out with every ounce of strength I have left._

 _Squeezing my eyes shut I prayed for the nightmare to end._

 _I'm suddenly overcome by warmth._

 _It surrounded me like a warm hug._

 _It's comforting._

 _It's peaceful._

 _I sink deeper into it._

 _And suddenly I'm in a field of wildflowers lit by a golden warm sun. In the center lies a picnic blanket. Somewhere, off in the distance, there was a light tune, as though the wind was singing to me. It sounded almost like "You are my sunshine." I laid down in the soft plaid blanked and was struck by the feeling that I could lay here forever._

* * *

 **Xxx Jace's POV xxX**

It had been just about a week since the kiss between Clary and I. I don't know what came over me. I had been doing so well in restraining myself with her. Ever since the night where she told me what happened with her ex, I understood why she kept to herself. I figured that since she trusted me to tell me then she would start to let me into her world of solitude, but she only pushed me out further. It infuriated me. I don't know if she just doesn't want help, or maybe she thinks I'm going to hurt her. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

The only thing that I know for sure is that Clary is different than any other girl I know. She is passionate and strong. She is beautiful and dangerous. She is talented and funny and smart. There is a connection between us that I just can't ignore and I want nothing more to see where it goes.

If the kiss we shared is any indication as to what our future together may hold then I will continue to chase her no matter how far she may run. That kiss was unlike any other. So many girls kissed with pride and intent like they had just claimed their prize. They would push up against me, making their assets obvious.

But with Clary, it felt like my first kiss all over again. There was a fire when our lips met and I for a moment I forgot what I was doing. My heart was beating as though I had just sprinted a mile. When she didn't pull away and instead melted against me it felt like I had won the lottery. Each touch was a chaotic mess of passionate flames. That kiss was burned into my brain. I yearned to experience it again, to experience her again.

But in Clary fashion, she only pulled further away.

I knew I needed to catch her in a place where she couldn't run. That is how I ended up outside her dorm room door. I had remembered where she lived after our chance meeting at the beginning of the semester. The girls I had been with were rude and sent her running down the hall into her room.

Now here I was, standing outside the same door that the red-haired girl had taken refuge, trying to build the courage to knock.

I shake my head. Who have I become? Trying to build the courage to knock? Jace Wayland doesn't need courage, he is fearless.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

I stand there waiting. I thanked whatever god watching that there was no one in the hallway at the time. The dorm was unusually quiet.

That's when I heard it. Coming from behind the door in front of me was a strange noise. It sounded like ruffling of sheets. A blush rose to my cheeks when I realized the obvious. Clary was probably having sex with someone. I was frozen, I couldn't move.

The longer I stood there the more I realized that the sounds behind the door were definitely not sex. I had participated in the act enough times to be able to tell when sex was happening and when it wasn't.

"No please, Jonathan, please I don't want this"

The voice was obviously Clary's. It was only half a second before I reacted and swung open the door.

I was expecting to see Clary struggling against a man, but to my surprise, it was only her in bed. She was thrashing around, obviously distraught. It took a moment before I realized that she was still asleep. That's when it clicked. Jonathan was the name of Clary's ex. She's having a nightmare.

I closed the door behind me and walked over to the bed.

"Help" She whispered.

My heart clenched at the single word.

I climbed into her small bed, which normally would have been a problem if not for her small frame. I pulled her body close to mine. She was shaking. I placed a light kiss on the top of her head and began humming "You are my sunshine" like my mother used to do with me whenever I had a bad dream.

I stroked her hair as she slowly relaxed against my body. I hugged her tighter and continued until she slept soundly. As time passed, I felt my eyes becoming heavier. At first, I tried to fight it knowing that I should probably sneak out before she woke but when I moved to leave Clary held me tighter. I decided to stay and bask in the moment that I had been given. I buried my nose in her hair, breathed in the scent that was so uniquely Clary's, and let sleep consume me.

* * *

 **Xxx Clary's POV xxX**

I woke up to warmth, just like in my dream. The dream after my nightmare had been so nice that for once I didn't want to wake up just yet. I snuggled closer to the warmth.

The warmth was hard, yet soft. This warmth was a tangible thing. That's strange.

Reluctantly, I opened one eye and peered at the dark blue solid in front of me. It took only a moment to realize that this mass was part of a person. There was a person in my bed. A person that was not there when I went to sleep. My heart started pounding.

I peered up and focused on the face that was peacefully asleep. I knew those graceful features.

Jace.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to question how he got in my bed, why he was here, what he wanted. But he looked so peaceful in that moment and judging from my drool stain on his shirt, apparently he had been here a while.

It wasn't until he lightly began humming "You are my sunshine" with every outgoing breath that I realized what had happened. Kind of. Either way I knew it was because of him that I had found my way out of the nightmare and into the dream. I slid higher onto the bed and slipped my arm underneath his neck. He instinctually rolled into my body. With one of his arms under my lower back and the other draped across my stomach, he held me in a sloppy hug.

I pulled his head closer to my chest, painfully aware how close his head was to my breasts, and began stroking his hair. He sighed in contentment. I smiled. He threw his leg over mine and I chuckled lightly as I realized that I had become a human body pillow. We laid like that for about twenty minutes before he began to wake up.

"Good morning, sleepy head" I smiled lightly down at him.

Obviously confused, he looked up. A number of different emotions flashed through his eyes. First, realization as he remembered what happened. Second, nervousness knowing he should have left before I woke up. And third, happiness as he realized that I wasn't yelling at him or kicking him out.

"Oh, you're awake. I didn't realize I fell asleep." He responded cautiously.

I chuckled.

"So, care to inform me how I went to sleep by myself and woke up with you in my bed" I kept my tone light to ease his concern.

"Oh yeah," he rolled over a little, allowing some distance between us, probably expecting the worse. "I came by to talk to you and when I knocked on the door I heard you crying out for Jonathan to stop. I opened the door thinking that you were being attacked but it turns out you were asleep and having a bad dream. I was gonna leave but then you asked for help and I guess I climbed into bed with you. I'm really sorry. I don't know what came over me. I know I shouldn't have but I didn't know what else to do. I didn't want to just leave you in obvious dis-"

I put my hand over his mouth to stop his rambling.

"It's okay."

"It's okay?"

"It's okay."

He smiled lightly.

"Thank you." He almost flinched, obviously taken aback.

"I actually figured something like that happened. When I woke up you were lightly still humming to me and it was the same song I heard in my dream after the nightmare went away." I looked away. "But thank you, I haven't slept that well in a long time. I don't know what you did so thank you."

He seemed to relax with that. A kind light rose to his eyes.

"It was my pleasure." He smiled.

"So, um, what did you want to talk about?"

"Oh," he detached himself from the mangle of limbs our bodies had formed and sat up. I scooted back so I was sitting up, leaning against the wall at the head of the bed. "I wanted to ask you why you have been avoiding me."

I blush and look away, my mind instinctually going back to the kiss.

"I haven't been avoiding you," I say in a whisper.

"Please Clary, for once, please just tell me the truth. If it was about the kiss than I-"

"You don't need to apologize. I know it was a mistake, you were probably slightly drunk and we were arguing and whatnot. It's okay."

"I wasn't going to say that it was a mistake." I gasp at the firmness of his words.

"Then what were you going to say?"

"I was going to say that it was amazing."

My head whips up at this. The boy that had been with so many other girls, the boy that could be with any girl he wanted is here saying that a kiss with me was amazing. What. No. Definitely not freaking out. Maybe this is all a dream still.

"Really?" was all I could muster up.

"Clary. Yes." He said urgently as though his window to say what he wanted was slowly closing. He put his hand on my knee.

"Look, Clary. I don't know what this is. I don't know why sometimes you get my blood boiling and then sometimes I want nothing more than to hold you and protect you from the outside world. But I know I want to find out. I know you have been through a lot and I don't want to hold you back but I would just love it if you would stop pushing me away. I want to see where this goes. Even if it goes nowhere, I just want to see. And hey, if another kiss like that happens, I certainly won't be complaining." He chuckled lightly. My heart fluttered.

"Well okay then," I responded slowly.

"Okay?"

"Okay." I nodded. "I'm sorry that I have been ignoring you, I have been really confused recently. That kiss kind of caught me off guard and I didn't know how to react. "

"I know, I'm sorry, I caught us both off guard with the kiss. But I don't regret it." The look in his eyes made my stomach feel all tingly.

"Don't think that just because we had this little heart to heart that I'm not gonna bust your balls" I shot back needing a distraction from the intensity.

He laughed a real, true laugh. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

I smiled. His smile seemed to beat mine.

"Well, uh, I should probably go." He began to slide from the bed.

"Wait," I grabbed his hand before I realized what I was doing.

He looked back waiting for words that I had not formed just yet.

"I, um, this is a weird question, but do you think you could stay? Or at least come back tonight?" His eyebrow quirked upwards in a way I have always wished I could do. "Not like that you asshole" I smacked him playfully. "I just haven't slept very well in a while and I could really use some sleep is all…"

He stared at me for a moment.

"Or not. That's okay too. I know it was a strange request, but I thought maybe since you looked like you were enjoying lying next to me earlier that maybe you'd be okay with it. But don't worry about it. It's fine."

"Clary, stop rambling. I will be back in a few hours. I just need to run a couple errands and meet with a group project. But I promise you Ill be back."

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. With that, he crossed the room, kissed my cheek lightly, and strode from the room. My stomach began to flutter with the thought of spending the night with Jace.

Oh god. What was I thinking?

 **Hi, Lovelies! Hope you missed me. I know, you probably thought you would never hear from me again. But here I am! Arising from the ashes like a beautiful and powerful Phoenix. I missed writing. I'm sure I will stop writing again soon but I hope to bust out a few more chapters before I stop again. Hope you enjoyed! As always don't forget to leave a comment.**

 **~Undeniably Peculiar**


	14. Chapter 14

As promised, around 8 o'clock, Jace came knocking on my door.

"I didn't actually think you'd show up. I figured a hot shot like you would have plenty of offers to go off and get plastered on a Friday evening." My words may have been playful but I was glad that he showed up.

"Yeah, I had a number of different choices but I couldn't pass up a chance to get in bed with my favorite little redhead," He countered.

My cheeks blushed at the connotation behind his words.

"Hey. I am not little." It was the only thing I could come up with.

"Red. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? You're height got stuck in third grade."

"Yeah well, your maturity level did too," I grumbled under my breath knowing full well that my 5'1 stature was shorter than your average female. "So what do you got there?"

He chuckled at his obvious win.

"Movies and snacks! I figured that if we were having a slumber party we should do it right." A large grin consumed his face.

"Does that mean I get to do your hair and makeup?" I perked up at the idea of dolled up Jace.

His smile only faltered slightly. "Anything for you, Red."

The movie he had brought was actually one of my favorites so I was pretty excited. It was the first Avengers movie. Simon never shuts up about his comic books so I came to know the characters really well. I had seen the movie twice already but I was always down to watch it again.

Jace obviously came prepared and I wasn't just referring to the movie and snacks. He came dressed in green and dark blue plaid pajama pants and a black sweatshirt. The loose clothing helped to hide the sea of rippling muscles that lay beneath and I silently thanked the angel.

In his right hand, he held a red Jansport backpack, presumably with a change of clothing and toothbrush.

"Alright, well pop the movie in and pass me that popcorn, I'm starving." I grabbed the bag as he tossed it to me. I couldn't help but stare as he crossed the room to my TV and DVD player and slowly slipped the disc into the slot.

I slid over on the bed waiting for him to climb in. My stomach fluttered as each second passed. What if he had the wrong idea? I'm sure he has never had a girl ask him to her place to just hang out and sleep. What if he makes a move? Oh god. This was a bad idea.

He dropped his stuff in the corner of the room and continued to take off his sweatshirt. My eyes, which were on the screen, caught his movements and a flash of skin. Oh shit. He's not wearing a shirt underneath. I silently revoke my prayer and curse the angels above that obviously enjoy messing with me.

"So, um, where is your shirt?" I tried my best to put sass behind my words to hide the fact that I was obviously staring.

"Oh, you didn't know? I'm too sexy for my shirt."

His serious tone and reference to the awful song caught me by surprise and I doubled over in laughter. He chuckled along with me.

Once my laughter had died down I managed to say, "No seriously, where is your shirt"

"Look Red, I typically sleep naked so you can either have me shirtless or with no clothes but there ain't no way that I'm adding clothes."

I blushed at the thought of a naked Jace.

"That's what I thought."

By the time that Jace got into bed the movie had begun. Apparently, all of my worry at the idea of Jace getting too handsy was all for nothing. I was really surprised. I figured that he would at least try to accidentally graze a boob or something but the only touches that occurred were when we both reached in to grab more popcorn at the same time.

Once my worries had been calmed I was able to really get into the movie. The Black Widow had always been my favorite character. She was a total badass and never took anyone's shit. Every guy wanted her and every girl wanted to be her. Not to mention she was also a redhead, even if it's from a box. Plus, the character is played by Scarlett Johansson who is a total babe.

The movie was over at about 9:45-10:00. Obviously, it was too early to go to sleep and neither one of us were tired.

"So… what should we do now?" I figured that question was coming.

"Well, I kind of have a request but its stupid so, actually nevermind."

"No, no. What is it?" Obviously intrigued.

"Okay, um, can I draw you?" I internally chastised myself for sounding like a toddler.

"Don't you do that already like once a week? What? Can't get enough of this hot bod?"

"Ha. Ha. You wish. I actually just want to draw your eyes. I know that probably sounds really cheesy but the eyes are my favorite part of the body and we only draw in black and white so far in class, plus we draw the whole body rather than focusing on a single body part. You don't have to agree obviously, we can like play a game or something." I can't stop myself from rambling.

"No, it's okay. I don't mind being your model." Jace said this without any sarcasm that I actually believed him.

"Okay, let me just grab my things and you stay there." I quickly dart around the room grabbing a number of different mediums including charcoal, pencils, and markers.

I take a seat on the bed directly in front of him.

"So just look at me," His gaze starts wandering downwards, "In the eyes." I snap back quickly.

He smirked.

I pick up my first pencil and begin outlining. His eyes, just like the rest of his body are practically perfect. They are big without being scary but almond shaped without looking too long. He has long eyelashes that perfectly frame the beautiful golden orbs.

As soon as I get drawing the story unfolds beneath.

 _It's his freshman year in college. He has plenty of friends but no one all at the same time. The girls who sit with him just want to get in his pants and the guys who sit with him just want the girls to notice them. They are all desperate for attention and realize that Jace attracts it easily._

 _When he returns back to his dorm room, he is always alone. He never brings girls back to his place and friends never want to hang out unless it's a party and they are getting drunk. He fills the loneliness by surrounding himself with people but it never truly kills it._

 _It wasn't until he met Alec in the library that the void began to fill. Alec was banging on the glass of a vending machine when Jace sauntered over._

" _Hey let me help you with that" With a couple precise knocks, the once stuck snack falls from its captivity._

" _Hey man, thanks, I've been knocking on the glass for like five minutes now. How did you do that?" Alec asks, dumbfounded._

" _Just had a lot of practice with it," Jace responded easily._

" _I'm Jace."_

" _Alec"_

 _The handshake that they shared was only the beginning of a long friendship. Their sense of humor was the same, they both came from a rough home life and they were both looking for a place in the world. Jace came to love Alec and his younger sister._

The smile lines around his eyes were shallow and new, like the story mentioned. His smiles only began reaching his eyes in the past 2 years.

The stories always seem to play out in slow motion so by the time it was done I was just about finished with my drawing. All that was left was to accentuate the final highlights and shadows.

I looked down at the piece and was surprised to see the intensity that I had captured in his eyes. I looked up. His gaze never faltered. He never blinked. It was almost like he was searching for something in my eyes while I was examining the details in his.

"Are you done?" He asked suddenly. I almost jumped as his voice cut through the silence.

"Yeah."

"Did you know that your eyes dilated when you draw? Its almost like you're high without taking any drugs. It's quite amazing."

I guess that's what happens when the stories start playing. I wonder if I should tell him.

"Can I see?"

Still lost in my thoughts I nod my head and hand him the paper.

"Wow, Clary. This is amazing. And I'm not just saying that because they are my eyes." He looked up astonished but with a hint of a smirk.

"Thanks." I chuckled.

"Oh man, I want to see your other drawings. From class." I blush at the reminder of a nude Jace Wayland.

"Uh, yeah sure, anytime," I said hoping to change the topic.

"Anytime? How about now?" His eyes gleam mischievously.

"We can't go now. All the buildings are closed. There is no way in."

"Ahh, but where there is a will, there's a way."

So just like that, at 11:30 at night, Jace and I snuck off to the art building in hopes of breaking in. How he convinced me, I don't really know. I just began praying that we wouldn't get caught.

* * *

"Jace, I don't think this is a good idea. We are gonna get caught and kicked out." I whisper nervously.

"Look if anyone catches us just pretend we are a horny young couple looking for a place to make out." I could hear the grin in his voice.

"You wish!" I spat back.

He laughed in return.

As we circled around the corner of the building to the back, I became painfully aware of how alone we were. When I was with Jon I would always do my best to avoid us being alone together. If we were alone then he would expect…things… things I didn't want to give him. And when I didn't give him what he wanted he would hit me.

My breath started to quicken at the thought.

Just then, Jace grabbed my arm, "Are you okay?"

But his grip only put me further into my head. I started hyperventilating.

"Jace. I cant breathe"

He came around to look into my face.

"Hey, breathe. Deep breath in, deep breath out." He controlled his breath with me.

I tried. Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

My heart started to calm down.

"Hey, you okay?" Jace asked, obviously concerned.

I looked away ashamed. Jace put a finger to my chin and turned my head back.

"You can tell me. Was it something I did?"

"No, not really. Its just been a long time since I've been alone with a guy in a secluded area. It reminded me of…him." I said, still not making eye contact.

"Oh, I see."

"And when you grabbed my arm, it kinda set me off more." I could see the pain in his eyes. "But it wasn't your fault. If I hadn't already started my anxiety attack the grab would not have affected me." I rush out, not wanting him to blame himself.

"I got it. Do you want to go back?" A softness settled between us.

"No, lets keep going." I smiled slightly. I wasn't about to let Jonathan ruin my life anymore.

Jace had managed to get a window on the first-floor open. I didn't know how but my mind jumped back to the story of him as a boy being beaten by gangs. Maybe that's where he learned.

With a light boost, we both climbed through the window. We found ourselves in one of the many classrooms. It was actually the same room I had for my art history class. Once we got out into the main hallway I knew exactly where we were and where to go.

"So how are we going to get into the classroom?" I asked. Maybe he can pick locks too.

My theory was squashed when he pulled out a key.

"Mr. Garroway gave me the key to get ready before and after class."

The walk was strangely quiet. The halls were always swarming with students running to and from class. But now, in the dead of night, everything was incredibly quiet. The light blue walls were practically colorless within the darkness. Guided by the lights on our phone we made our way to the classroom.

Once we arrived, Jace pulled out the key again and unlocked the door. The easels were all neatly arranged in a horseshoe awaiting canvas and paint. The door to the storage room always remained open so that students could access their artwork as long as the building was open.

The storage room only allowed enough space for maybe three people at a time. We closed the door behind us so we could turn on the lights without it showing out the windows in the classroom. I walked over the compartment that I had claimed at the beginning of the year and began pulling out the canvases depicting Jace's nude body and handed them over.

There was only two, one, my first one, that was relatively nice but showed my obvious hesitation to stare at Jace's body. The second was the dark and sensual piece that I had made after the kiss we shared.

I watched Jace's face anxiously awaiting a reaction. Would he like it? Would he think I was weird?

After enough time had passed I couldn't wait anymore.

"So? What do you think?" I asked eagerly.

Instead of answering, Jace turned his head to look at me. Really look at me. As if he was seeing me for the last time and wanted to remember every detail. I squirmed under his gaze.

Before I knew what was happening, Jace had dropped my drawing, grabbed both sides of my face with his hands and crashed his lips against mine. It was desperate, like our first kiss, but there was something different about this one and I couldn't put my finger on it.

He fisted one hand in my hair while his other hand made its way down my back leaving a trail of fire everywhere it went. I wrapped my arms around his neck for support. Every nerve was screaming with pleasure. I held on tight as Jace pulled me close. His lips were soft against mine, moving fluidly against each other. His tongue lightly ran across my bottom lip and I accepted him eagerly.

My hands found their way into his hair tugging at the golden locks. He moaned softly which was just enough to allow me to take his bottom lip, biting down slightly. Both of his hands made their way to my waist, gripping tightly at my hips. Every inch of me screamed more. But just as quickly as it began, it died down. Light kisses peppered my lips and cheeks until we were locked in a tight hug.

My face was buried in his shoulder. I couldn't help but wonder what this means. Again. I should stop getting into these situations. But once they start I can't make them stop. Maybe it meant nothing. I mean, who knows, maybe he hasn't gotten laid in a while and needed to let off steam.

"Where did that come from?" I mumble into his shoulder, still trying to catch my breath from the impromptu makeout.

"Your art." He said softly.

I pulled away to look him in the eyes. He refused to let go so I placed my hands on his chest. "What do you mean?"

"I got this overwhelming feeling that you could see right through me, and then the second picture just screams sex. Well, sex and anger." He smirked at that.

I smacked his chest playfully and he let me go. We quickly put away my artwork and began our stealthy get away.

The entire walk back I couldn't help but analyze and overanalyze what he had said and what happened. I decided that if I just ignored it then maybe I would figure it out over time. I'm sure that tomorrow Jace would go back to the player everyone knows and loves.

When we arrived back at my dorm room both of us were exhausted and passed out as soon as we hit the bed. Jace kept his distance as sleep took hold.

But of course, we woke up the following morning in a tight embrace. It was the first time I slept through the night without a nightmare. It was almost like Jace fought them off.

 **Hello again! I am aware that these two updates are very Clace focused but I wanted their relationship to start moving passed the sexual tension through sassy comments phase. The next chapter will see more of Jonathan and even Sebastian ;D Hope you guys enjoy! Let me know what you think! By the way, I never read over my chapters for edits so I apologize for any grammar or spelling errors. I hate editing lol. . Love you all!**

 **~UndeniablyPeculiar**


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